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MomPornos

If Moms Wrote Pornos

The longing in my soul was palpable. I needed him. I wanted him. I glanced outside repeatedly, he should be home any minute. I furtively looked around the house, things were strewn everywhere. It didn't matter, nothing mattered but him coming home. I had prepped for this moment all day. My mind racing with the possibilities.The day started as all the others had. Exhaustion so deep my toes curled. The banging of toys making my head throb with anticipation of 6 pm. My back ached, my hair a … [Read More Of This Shit...]

Annoying Shit

PumpkinShit

Enough with the Pumpkin Shit!

Hi, my name is Alyson and I hate pumpkin flavored everything. It feels good to finally get that off my chest. I realize I am in the minority, so I make my announcement while ducking for cover from the pumpkin that will surely be whipped my … [Read More Of This Shit]

TVBitches

Can We Stop Making Women Bitches in TV?

Dear TV Show Writers,Would it fucking kill you all to please stop the stereotypical wife that sighs when her husband has to go to work. PLEASE. You all feel hell bent on perpetuating this belief that you have decided to write it into almost every … [Read More Of This Shit]

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HoevsHo

The Double Meaning of Words with Kids

I am that parent. The one that finds certain words my children say hysterical, and not because they pronounce them incorrectly - although that is adorable too. No I am talking the double meaning of words and the joy it brings me as a mother. There … [Read More Of This Shit]

StupidGirl

Top Stupid Girls Names 2013

When naming your child I believe it is important to consider that this human being actually has to go through life with the name you selected. Seems an obvious, but some parents missed the memo. Last week I highlighted The Top Stupid Boys Names of … [Read More Of This Shit]

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MomPornos

If Moms Wrote Pornos

The longing in my soul was palpable. I needed him. I wanted him. I glanced outside repeatedly, he should be home any minute. I furtively looked around the house, things were strewn everywhere. It … [Read More Of This Shit...]

CFLMFTR

Dear CFL Manufacturers, You Suck

Dear Eco/Energy Smart Light Bulb Manufacturers,I have been meaning to drop you a line for sometime but keep forgetting, because well I am a mom and a busy person (not really). I bought all into … [Read More Of This Shit...]

SexToysforDogs

Sex Toys for Dogs, WTF?

Pets are a wonderful addition to any home. Our home has two Bernese Mountain Dogs that we love dearly. They provide non-stop shredding, pooping, panting, slobbering, farting and more. The kids love … [Read More Of This Shit...]

WTF is a Merkin

WTF is a Merkin?

There is a new word in my lexicon and it is merkin, AKA the pubic wig. How did I not know about this? Sure I have heard of 'gherkin the merkin' but I was under the impression merkin meant a male … [Read More Of This Shit...]

AirportRestroomHorror

Airport Restroom Horror

My husband travels A LOT for business, seriously he lives in the airport. He is on a first name basis with the crew at our local airport he is there so much. The Hubs has seen just about everything … [Read More Of This Shit...]

PumpkinShit

Enough with the Pumpkin Shit!

Hi, my name is Alyson and I hate pumpkin flavored everything. It feels good to finally get that off my chest. I realize I am in the minority, so I make my announcement while ducking for cover from the … [Read More Of This Shit...]

DrugAllergies&Kids

When Hives Attack

My children have introduced me to all sorts of medical moments that I could have done without. I have learned a lot and have shed many worried Mom tears. I have held my 7-week-old screaming child to a … [Read More Of This Shit...]

LearnHowToDrive

Can People PLEASE Learn to Drive?

I am an East Coast driver living in the Midwest. This causes many issues when I take the to road. First I like to drive over the speed limit. I was taught that the posted MPH is just a recommendation. … [Read More Of This Shit...]