A Shitastrophy of Epic Proportions

It was our son’s 7th birthday and after a special morning event we treated him to breakfast. The restaurant was packed. We placed our order with our waitress and I excused myself to the restroom. That was when the most horrific, horrible, grotesque thing ever happened.

I was in the very tiny bathroom stall doing my business when another person entered the bathroom. She quickly darted into the stall next to me. Did I mention it was a very small space? I could tell by the black orthopedic shoes she was wearing that my new roomie was an older person. I then heard the phrase that I will never get out of my mind, “Oh No! Not Again!” Next up, liquid shit plopped all over the floor in the stall she was in.

I was in a panic, the bathroom was so small there were no options – the stench was so bad I was gagging. There was shit all over the floor in her stall. I couldn’t move fast enough. With speed you would never know an elderly person to possess she exited her stall. I heard the water turn on. I had no option but to hide out and hold my breathe in my stall until she left the bathroom. The little I had seen was enough to make me want to hurl. Once I heard the bathroom door close I opened my stall door and realized there was a trail of liquid shit all over the floor and out the door!

I opted to not wash my hands, since shit was all over the sink. I took about a thousand towels and opened the door. There was a trail of shit footprints on the carpet that led back into the restaurant. A waitress was just exiting the kitchen, which was located right next to the bathroom. I turned to her and mentioned she may have a problem. I pointed to the floor and then to the older woman with crap all over her pants. The color drained out of the poor lady’s face and she ran back into the kitchen. I was trying to not puke myself. I walked back out into restaurant, dodging the shit footprints and alerted the hostess. I then headed to our table. The hubs could tell something was clearly wrong. I didn’t even have a chance to explain it when the Shitastrophy began walking into the main restaurant heading towards our table.

I was in a full panic. She was about 3 steps away from getting liquid shit all over us when the kitchen manager tackled her with full aprons wrapping her shit covered clothing and escorting her to the door. Holy Shit!

The lady refused to leave until she got her food to go. Waitresses were scrambling to get food in containers. Patrons were staring mortified and gagging. The restaurant owner was yelling at the woman’s family that she was no longer permitted in their place of business, because this is the 2nd time this week she had done this!!!

We mentioned something to our waitress after the family had left and were informed this was the 4th time she had exploded in the last month!

Seriously! WTF?!!!

What is wrong with this family if they knowingly take this person into a public establishment that she has imploded in three other times? Do they not realize she has major issues? Does it get to the point that you just think, oh well grandma’s gonna shit her pants, let her do it somewhere else so at least they have to clean it up? After the first time wouldn’t you be a little embarrassed and want to take her somewhere else? Seriously by the 3rd time I would definitely NOT be going back to the same establishment. The 4th time! They should be arrested for endangerment or something.

I ended up not eating my food, and we left shortly after. The place didn’t even comp us or anything. It really was a birthday to remember. Have you ever experienced something like this? I hope to never ever again.




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  1. Michelle in WI says:

    HAHAHA!!! OMG thanks for the laugh as always 🙂

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Truly a disgusting experience. Glad you got a chuckle:)

  2. Oh dear! That was funny… I can’t imagine taking a known crapper out to a restaurant. For f sakeS we parents wait at least 3-4 weeks before taking a newly toilet trained kid into public….my son ate crap once, that wasn’t his- we had to take him to get bloodwork, the lady on the phone at poison control put me on hold to laugh, that is the best shit story I have, other than finding my kids shotting corner I the back yard…

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I know! Who would take this woman out after it had happened repeatedly – at the same restaurant?! I would spread that shit around town. I might hurl if my kid ate poop, just for the record.

  3. Keirsten says:

    Fuck!!!! I’m so bogued out I am gagging while I’m laughing!!! Just foul !!!!!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Jake almost hurled right at the table!

  4. Lyn says:

    My first thought was — poor lady that no one in the family cares enough to get this taken care of???

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I really think that they should have been reported to the authorities. I wish I had known when they were there that it had been 4 times – clearly the woman was not getting the care she needed from her family.

  5. Oh..My….HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!!!!!! FOUR TIMES??? WHAT????!!!!!

    I think my eyes just got wider and wider througout the entire time I was reading this!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      That phrase will NEVER leave my mind – Oh No! Not Again!! Horrible, gross, just yuck.

  6. Ewwww…. I should not be eating this before dinner, although I’ll probably eat less calories now. I think I would have PTSD after witnessing that and have tremors every time I set foot in that restaurant afterwards. Yuck.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Oh I can never ever go in that restaurant again. I drive by it every week and relive it each time – so disgusting.

  7. 4?

    And here I thought my dad was a slow learned for being on marriage #3.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Gross, wrong, and that family should be held liable for negligence of an elderly for allowing it to happen so much.

  8. Whoa. I have no words. That is epic!!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Truly a birthday to remember, well at least the after party part was.

  9. Oh….My…..GOD!!! I can’t even believe this happened to you, and on your son’s birthday!!! I’m sort of gagging just sitting here, and I’m not even trying to eat. That fact that you are shitastrophy and then experienced a real life shitastrophy is not lost on me. GAH!!! –Lisa

  10. Joy says:

    Sweet baby Jesus, that lady! I’ve heard of “anal leakage” as a side effect, but that is crazy. I hope she got her bowels under control. What an appetite suppressant.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      This was beyond leakage and a full on implosion.

  11. Phil says:

    Why the heck did I decide to read this as I am eating lunch? I’m laughing and feeling grossed out at the same time. Poor lady.

  12. dave roaix says:

    How is this person not in a health care setting if it happens this much?
    That is a really bad situation. Everyone in the restaurant should have been comped AND given a gift cert. for another visit. That shit is disgusting!

    • Her family should be held liable and should be reported, and we should have gotten some sort of compensation cause yikes.

  13. Oh I’m nauseated just reading this. While I don’t have first hand knowledge of something like this, I can tell you that my mom has a neighbor that she’s had to ban from her apartment because she apparently can’t stop shitting when she’s there. She’s shit on my mom’s bathroom throw rug, her cushy toilet sheet and left a shit trail from the bathroom to the front door before. I feel badly for these people with these issues but at the same time, EWWWW FUCKING EWWWWWWW.

  14. Holy, um, crap!

    If I were her, I don’t think I’d have been able to leave that bathroom stall until the restaurant had closed.
    That would’ve been beyond embarrassing just once! Let alone 4 times..

  15. No, thank GOD nothing like that ever happened to me. Holy fuck. That is cRaZY!. Second time that week?! Obviously, we’re not dealing with a mentally competent family if they DEMANDED their food after crapping all over the restaurant. How do you not run in shame? AND keep coming back? I also don’t understand how she got shit everywhere. How is it on the sink? And footprints?


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