When Shit Falls from the Sky

ShitFallsShitastrophy’s happen to everyone in my family. It is a problem of epic proportions. One of the earliest Shitastrophy’s I can remember was when I was about 10 years old on a family trip to Florida. Our family only vacationed at Disney. Why I have no idea. It was the antithesis of everything my parents hated – kids, rides, expensive, heat. Add to that the fact that my father could not go on any rides due to heart problems, and my mother got motion sick on a swing, why in the hell we went there I have no clue. To make it clear, we were not the ones that would choose Disney either – my parents did.

The first day of the trip my sister had gotten horrible sunburn, like scorched earth sunburn. Later in the week she had worn a tank top to the Magic Kingdom and was sizzling by the second. My parents were PISSED. Why my mother did not mention to my sister that she should probably not wear a freaking tank top in the first place I have no idea. My sis was so miserable that my parents actually broke down and purchased a t-shirt at the Magic K for her (we NEVER got any souvenirs).

While My mother was waiting in line to put the tank top in a locker (why my mother couldn’t hold it I don’t know) we were waiting in the shade under a large tree. Disney then let the doves go in the Magical parade. Next thing you know this big old dude who was sitting next to us started laughing hysterically. He finally got my sisters attention and mentioned that the doves had let it fly right on her shoulder! She was not a happy kid. Ultimately the shirt had to get washed out in the sink and be reworn with the birdshit because my parents were no way in hell buying her another shirt. The rest of us – My mother, father, me, and my other sister spent the next 48 hours making fun of her. Oh the fun we had about When the Doves Cry (it was mid 1980’s).

fireworksFlash forward 2 days and we were in Tampa at Bush Gardens. I can’t remember exactly but we were on a boat cruise. My sisters, myself, and my mother were all sitting under a covered area on a bench. My father was giving us a hard time for not coming out in the sun. However we were all fried and hot. Sun bathing was not gonna happen. This was when no one wore sunscreen, and if you did it was SPF 4.

My father was standing at the rail getting a little cocky. And then it happened – the Shitastrophy that goes down in history. An entire FLOCK of seagulls flew over and like the fireworks on the 4th of July let loose for the Grand Finale at the same time. Bombs away!!! Shit hit the deck and splattered ALL OVER HIM! It was on his shoes, his legs, his pants, his shirt – everywhere. He literally got Shit Bombed. OMFG it was hysterical!

He did not find it as funny as all of us, but it will forever be one of my favorite Shitastrophy stories of all time.

 

 

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  1. That is quite the story, so much so, I am not to sure on how to respond, expect (excluding the sunburn), your parents were great.

  2. OH NO! Birds are horrible!
    Thanks for sharing on the Hump Day Hook Up, I think 🙂

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      It’s a family issue, I got nailed at the beach – with bird shit of course;) Thanks for doing the Hump Day!

  3. Ok, seriously I need this laugh after the long, busy day I had. You so didn’t disappoint. Thanks!! 🙂

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Thanks! It is definitely a family classic:)