A Letter to Bra Designers

Dearest Bra Designers, I think we have reached the point in our relationship I can be honest with you. You’ve been there through weight gain, weight loss, pregnancy, nursing, dating and marriage. You really have been a big supporter in my life. However, like all good relationships I have noticed some issues that need to be addressed. You seem to have the […]

Dear Shitty Shapewear

Dear Shitty Shapewear, We had an agreement and you aren’t holding up, or in, your side of it. You are my go to for tightening, shaping, holding, smoothing. I know I have put on a few pounds but you have built in stretch. You should be able to handle an extra couple pieces of chocolate […]

Enough With the F*cking Snack Bags!

This post will undoubtedly get me on some ‘She Never Should Have Had Kids’ list but truthfully I don’t give a fuck. Something needs to be said, and I am more than happy to be the one to say it. And for those who think I should never have had kids you can shove it, my […]

Oh You’re Not Dying, You’re Just Old!

A few years ago my period went from being a hiccup to a force to reckon with. I had always had a regular and light period, and then all of a sudden it changed. I was caught off guard numerous times, scrambling for rogue tampons I had squirreled away in the bottom of my purse. One […]

10 Ways To Get Out of School Early

Dear Children of Mine, Each week I seem to have at least one of you contacting me to request I pick you up from school early. The reasons run the gauntlet from illness, aches and pains, to a general dislike of your day. I have clearly explained the requirements that must be met in order to […]

My Grammy Recap

I don’t normally watch the Grammys, but this year my 9 year old daughter was hell bent on watching her favorite Pop divas in action. As a result I was forced to watch two hours of the pre-show and the actual event. Here’s my take aways. Cleavage – Many years ago when Jennifer Lopez wore […]

37 Ways Not To Be an Asshole

In case you live on a commune, or are a hermit, you may not have noticed how overpopulated the world has become with assholes. People everywhere have lost the ability to be kind to one another, or think how their actions will impact another. I’ve reached my tipping point of douche baggery and now I am forced […]

A Little FU to United Airlines

Dear Asshole Flight Attendant, Back in November I flew on your airlines, United, from my home town to Newark airport. I typically fly on Delta (because miles) but your company recently instituted a direct flight (unheard of) out of my poe-dunk town to Newark. My 9 year old daughter and I were off to spend the […]

Another Damn Snow Day?!

My kids are off school today for yet another snow/cold as shit/arctic ass blast of air. Yes, I understand the reasoning for having my precious little chitlins home, again, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it – because I don’t. See I send my kids to school (other than the obvious learning and […]

Parenting Rant, It’s Not My Fault

Parenting rant in 3…2…1 and lift off. My kids like to take ownership of fails about as much as I like to ask them every day if they brushed their teeth. We seriously seem to be in a deep crevasse of denial and it’s driving me fucking berserk. But the reality is that I know damn […]

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