The Double Meaning of Words with Kids

I am that parent. The one that finds certain words my children say hysterical, and not because they pronounce them incorrectly – although that is adorable too. No I am talking the double meaning of words and the joy it brings me as a mother. There was the time my son asked me if I was scared of flying balls or when my daughter announced to my husband and I that she had a special hole. These little immature moments are what helps to break up the minutia of parenting.

Kids are very literal, they say what they mean and there is no possible alternative meaning. But us parents all realize that there are many other meanings to words. Like when they bite into the Taco Bell Cinnabon® and exclaim how hot and creamy it is inside! Or when your darling daughter shows you her latest back hand flip move and she looks like she is working a pole. Well tonight I had one delivered on a silver platter, at dinner no less.

My sweet 9 year old girl asked me, “Mom did you know that there are different kinds of ho’s?”

After I almost choked on my food and maintained a calm demeanor I replied, “Oh?”

“Yes, there are standard ho’s and other kinds of ho’s.”

Again, I retained a calm disposition and thought maybe I should find out where she learned about ho’s in the first place. (please don’t say Disney XD or You Tube)

“Hmm….where um did you learn about ho’s?”

“Today at school!”

And then I realized that she was talking about the gardening tool hoe not the working the street corner ho! Yes, these are two very very different ho’s, and a good reminder to not answer with your first instinct. Since I am all things immature I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to ask her questions about ho’s though.

“Wow, so what is a ho made of?”

“Wood, why?”

“Oh you know, just wondering about the hoe’s that’s all. Tell me more about the hoe.”

“Well the standard hoe has those metal spikes, but I got to use the easy ho.”

“Oh yeah? Why was it easy? Were you able to plow the field quicker with the ho you had?”

“Oh my hoe had no spikes!”

“Oh so you had a spikeless ho? You don’t see that everyday!”

“Huh?”

“Oh nothing, honey.”

She walked away probably delighted that I was so involved in her hoe conversation and I got a fantastic parental moment that would have been lost had she said rake instead of hoe. So win-win. I then went into my office and opened up my email and read that their school is offering a class titles “Making Things with Wood”. I wonder if it is the new sex-ed class?

 

HoevsHo

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  1. Mandy says:

    This is hilarious and now I feel comfortable admitting that I do this all the time. Just yesterday Mr. 8 said “I can’t carry these balls across the street.” They were soccer balls, but my husband and I giggled incessantly. Because….immature parenting.

    • Seriously if we have to clean up puke, wipe butts, and discuss mine craft in detail can’t we have this little thing? Balls get me every time too, btw.

  2. Oh holy hell…I love conversations like that. My baby boy and I had a conversation about cocks…you know..roosters..I tried so hard to keep a straight face. I failed horribly.

    • Bahahahah!!! It’s one of the things that makes parenting so fun! I would have been unable to keep a straight face on that one too.

  3. These are the sweet moments that make me look forward to mothering some innocent young things.

  4. Speaking of hoes, my friend and I were trying to think up a little business we could earn some money. We thought about selling fresh cut herbs and calling our business, “HerbiWhores”
    Then we considered ways in which we could promote our business and so came up with a little raffle. “Enter to win a free hoe”
    Farmers market wasn’t exactly thrilled with our word play!

    • OMG that’s fantastic though! I would think the old ladies at the market might take issue, but just think you could be the talk of the town with your hoe’s!!! I do love the name BTW;)

  5. Hilarious! My daughter was playing the other day and feeding her toys these little balls and calling them ‘ball snacks’. She got daddy to play with her and it was all “where’s your ball snack daddy?” and “you have to eat your ball snack!”. It was a treat, let me tell you.

  6. My 9 year old was learning about what the colors in the Mexican flag stood for–he said, “The red is for the blood spilled in the fight for freedom, the green is for hope, and the white is for puberty. Or something. ” Um, I think it’s “or something” (unity). Hard not to laugh.

  7. Carrie says:

    Get this. Just yesterday one of my dearest friends called to tell me her daughter called someone a faggot.

    Yes. A faggot.

    She said she freaked. Asked her just what she meant by that and where in the world did she hear it.

    At school. Kids were just throwing that word around and calling each other a faggot at lunch.

    She asked her if she knew what it meant.

    She didn’t have a clue. Just thought it was a funny sounding word and giggled.

    I do think she would have handled “ho” much, much better though. =)

  8. My daughter and husband are both particularly verbal and hard-core literalists. One day, after a round of teasing, I told them to spin (as in sit on it and…). They did. And still do.

    • I know my one son will SOOOO be like that! Lord help me, wait – I can have fun with this like you right???

  9. Fucking fantastic. Those are the parenting moments I live for. And I LOVE that you kept it going. My son once told me that “in baby making, three’s a crowd.” I about spit out my wine, but pulled myself together enough to ask what he meant. Turns out, he just meant that three is a lot of kids for a family. I had the BEST laugh later with my husband.

    • Hey if I gotta deal with random questions like, “Mom what’s in my nose?” then I get to laugh when they say hoe. It’s only fair.

  10. Don’t even get me started on playing Zeus on the Loose (an adding card game) with the kids and the number “69”. Maturity just flies out the window.

    • I am not very mature at all when watching sporting events, baseball I find the most tempting, with my family. The worst was when Detroit had a pitcher named Fister. Holy Crap I could barely keep it together.

      • Cat says:

        Football is THE BEST. I don’t care one way or the other about the actual sport or the teams, but the announcers are so unintentionally funny! During one game they both kept going on AND ON about the quarterbacks package. He was the whole package, had a great package, etc. I was rolling and my husband got all offended.

        Back to the funny children, my son was going to take his Hoo Hoo to preschool for show-and-tell during “H” week. His pink Hoo Hoo. (It’s a little pink stuffed owl named Hoo Hoo.) I was totally going to let him just so I could ask his teacher about it when I picked him up. Unfortunately, they were instructed to all bring hats that week.

        • Oh man total opportunity missed! It’s like the universe knew…Detroit had a pitched named Fister. I loved when Fister had 2 balls. My hubs would get annoyed too, but it was the only thing that made watching the game bearable.

  11. Liz says:

    Haha. Maturity is overrated. We parents need something to get us through. My 4 yr old was “working the pole” at the park the other day. She kept calling me over saying, “Look, mommy, I’m dancing on the pole.” What could I say except “Nice job.”

    • That is awesome, I would have loved that mother/daughter moment to break up the monotony of the Look! Look here! Mom…are you Looking?!

  12. mike says:

    I am always amused by my granddaughter and the things she says. She comes up with some weird crap at 3 years old. Sometimes it is just straight out obvious like the other day when she told her mom “your pissing me off”. I got the blame because we were watching a cartoon that she shouldn’t have been watching……

    • Yeah there is no getting out of that one;) Isn’t that what grandparents are supposed to do??

    • Celia says:

      You got the blame because face it…Grandma’s are the original Gangsta’s! Lol I introduced my grandson to all the horrible cartoons we grew up on, like Tom & Jerry. We laugh so hard we are both trying not to spit out our drinks or pee our pants! So worth the grief from my daughter. Thankfully she lightened up pretty quickly about it.

  13. Jmee says:

    So inappropriate… so funny! Thanks for the laugh. I love this. Today at the library I took a picture of a few books in the children’s sports section… There were several books in a row entitled merely “BALLS.” I laughed for days.