It is fall fuckers and there are all sorts of shit about this season that makes me scream Alleluia.
- My birthday is just around the corner, and I am not one of those people that dreads their day of birth. Nope I say bring that fucker on. My whole family has to be nice to me and I get to slack off on shit all because I was born. Also I have family members that still send me cash! It’s like Christmas, but in September.
- Summer is awesome don’t get me wrong but fall means there is no school holiday anytime soon. My kids are stuck being educated for the next 9 weeks. That is fantastic.
- As I have aged I have realized I like football. A big part of this is that my kid plays football and it is awesome watching him out there doing a team sport. But even above that I like the whole concept of pile driving someone into the ground under the pretense of getting the ball. It is very barbaric in a soothing kinda way.
- Flowers are beautiful, but the leaves changing – that shit is gorgeous. I don’t care who you are but you gotta admit seeing a mountain covered in bright reds, oranges, and yellows is fantastic.
- Bonfires, S’mores, and Octoberfest beer – three things that go together fan-fucking-tastic on a crisp fall night.
- Carmel covered apples, apple pie, apple crumb, apple pancakes, apple butter, apple everything. I live in the Midwest where people live for Apple Festivals. There is nothing better than noshing your way through an afternoon apple style.
- Hot chocolate, the nectar of the gods.
- Finally I can open my fucking windows and let a cool breeze in, also who doesn’t like lower utility bills?
- Fall at the beach when no one is there. This is the equivalent of heaven for those of us that live near or lived near the ocean. The summer is fun, but there are crowds and assholes that leave trash all over the beautiful beach. But fall…no one is there but you and the shitting sea gulls. It might be as close to God as I can ever get.
- I am a jacket whore. I fucking love coats, it’s a disease and I accept that it has taken over my life. I have a coat for almost every possible weather situation that may arise. I just normally don’t have the right one on when I need to, because fashion dictates practicality more than I care to admit.
- My second favorite thing next to jackets are purses. Fall means I get to bring out the big guns and typically this is when I get a new purse (see #1 on my list).
- Halloween fucking rocks. Pumpkins, kids, costumes, and hello CANDY!
- It gets dark earlier which means my kids go to bed easier. When they were real young I could trick them at 7 and say it was way past their bedtime. They have since learned to tell time, what a sad day that was, but they do go to bed easier when it is dark out. I will take that ticket and cash it every time.
- Crockpot meals are so en vogue – and hello Chili on a cold day! Fall and Winter are the season of the one dish wonder, and it doesn’t disappoint.
- Clothes in general are layered, loose, and comfy. My muffin top becomes more of a three layered cake, thanks to the abundance of croc-pot and apple delights. However, now I can carefully conceal my doughy middle underneath flowing material and elastic waist leggings.
Sure Spring has its benefits, Summer is fun, Winter sucks, but Autumn is truly awesome.