It’s Fall Fuckers

It is fall fuckers and there are all sorts of shit about this season that makes me scream Alleluia.

  1. My birthday is just around the corner, and I am not one of those people that dreads their day of birth. Nope I say bring that fucker on. My whole family has to be nice to me and I get to slack off on shit all because I was born. Also I have family members that still send me cash! It’s like Christmas, but in September.
  2. Summer is awesome don’t get me wrong but fall means there is no school holiday anytime soon. My kids are stuck being educated for the next 9 weeks. That is fantastic.
  3. As I have aged I have realized I like football. A big part of this is that my kid plays football and it is awesome watching him out there doing a team sport. But even above that I like the whole concept of pile driving someone into the ground under the pretense of getting the ball. It is very barbaric in a soothing kinda way.
  4. Flowers are beautiful, but the leaves changing – that shit is gorgeous. I don’t care who you are but you gotta admit seeing a mountain covered in bright reds, oranges, and yellows is fantastic.
  5. Bonfires, S’mores, and Octoberfest beer – three things that go together fan-fucking-tastic on a crisp fall night.
  6. Carmel covered apples, apple pie, apple crumb, apple pancakes, apple butter, apple everything. I live in the Midwest where people live for Apple Festivals. There is nothing better than noshing your way through an afternoon apple style.
  7. Hot chocolate, the nectar of the gods.
  8. Finally I can open my fucking windows and let a cool breeze in, also who doesn’t like lower utility bills?
  9. Fall at the beach when no one is there. This is the equivalent of heaven for those of us that live near or lived near the ocean. The summer is fun, but there are crowds and assholes that leave trash all over the beautiful beach. But fall…no one is there but you and the shitting sea gulls. It might be as close to God as I can ever get.
  10. I am a jacket whore. I fucking love coats, it’s a disease and I accept that it has taken over my life. I have a coat for almost every possible weather situation that may arise. I just normally don’t have the right one on when I need to, because fashion dictates practicality more than I care to admit.
  11. My second favorite thing next to jackets are purses. Fall means I get to bring out the big guns and typically this is when I get a new purse (see #1 on my list).
  12. Halloween fucking rocks. Pumpkins, kids, costumes, and hello CANDY!
  13. It gets dark earlier which means my kids go to bed easier. When they were real young I could trick them at 7 and say it was way past their bedtime. They have since learned to tell time, what a sad day that was, but they do go to bed easier when it is dark out. I will take that ticket and cash it every time.
  14. Crockpot meals are so en vogue – and hello Chili on a cold day! Fall and Winter are the season of the one dish wonder, and it doesn’t disappoint.
  15. Clothes in general are layered, loose, and comfy. My muffin top becomes more of a three layered cake, thanks to the abundance of croc-pot and apple delights. However, now I can carefully conceal my doughy middle underneath flowing material and elastic waist leggings.

Sure Spring has its benefits, Summer is fun, Winter sucks, but Autumn is truly awesome.

Fall Fuckers



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  1. Abby says:

    I’m also someone who doesn’t like it hot, hates the freezing snow and lives in a state with all four seasons, with the changing fall leaves in Michigan being a highlight. I love hoodies, hibernation and October baseball. In other words, bring this fall shit on.

    • I’m in Michigan too…Fall is the only thing we can hold onto at this point cause winter is gonna suck.


    I LOVE Fall…it’s the greatest time of year..

  3. yup! fall rocks!!

  4. Karen says:

    Gotta agree with you…for the most part. Including the birthday thing–mine is coming up fast! My only beef with fall is that it brings winter a step closer. As a Canadian, I have to say that hurts. But leaves, cocoa, birthdays, cool breezes? Yes please!

    • I live in Michigan – in the snow belt. I hate winter with a passion, but Fall I still love!

  5. Kathy says:

    Fall is the bomb! Thigh hiding sweaters, crisp air and bold colors are my crack. Oh, and Honey Crisp Apples from Washington State. The best!

  6. Yes, yes, and yes. Except I only own one jacket. But I am a sweater whore. So that’s pretty much the same thing.

  7. Since I am a big gardener, fall is when I turn into a production kitchen slave. By Halloween I am so over gardening that I welcome the rains, then by November I am planning a trip somewhere less damp!

    • I normally last till Dec and then have to frantically search for somewhere to go stat!

  8. I bought a sweater on Saturday in 90 degree weather. This was my way of telling summer to fuck off.

  9. Lana says:

    I think fall rocks too. Crock pots and tons of jackets….me too!

  10. Fall kicks all the other seasons’ asses! It just makes me happy, even if it does lead into that fucker Winter.

    • You are so right! Even with it being the prelude to winter’s dull dark hell it is awesome.

  11. See, this is the kind of enthusiasm I like to see. I live in Florida so fall is not the grand wonder it is elsewhere but I play a mean game of pretend! Love this….

    • I’ll trade you Michigan in November for Florida. You will get it, wait you probably will want Michigan in October bc by November it is pretty yuck.

  12. I got sick of summer about two weeks in and I’ve been waiting for fall ever since. Layered clothing makes me happy and taking photos of fall foliage makes me even happier.

    Also I’m a total whore for pumpkin everything so I feel like I’ve just hit pay dirt.

    Also I’m irrationally envious of your September birthday.

    • My vice is carmel, put some carmel on that and I will eat it. This summer was actually kinda cool in Michigan so it was nice, I like the heat but not as much as I use to.

  13. We pretty much go from “summer” to “it’s raining” where I am. We don’t have a lot of deciduous trees, so the colors aren’t so much, but the ones we do have are great. I actually grew up in a place with four seasons (Washington, D.C.) and I loved Fall there. There the break from the humidity was the real benefit to Fall, because the place was built on a freakin’ swamp. The earlier darkness is something I love because I always want to come home and put my PJs on, and it just seems a bit weird to do so when it’s light out. When it’s starting to get dark, I don’t feel like such a slacker in my jammies at 6 p.m.

  14. Fall is my absolute favorite season: boots, my birthday, layered clothes, Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday of all), and cooler weather. Unfortunately that giant pooping tree in front of my house dumps several tons of leaves for a few months… That part sucks.

    • We are in the process of chopping down numerous pooping trees…hate those fucking cherry trees.

  15. I have lived in California for 38 years and I STILL miss fall in New York. Damn.

  16. I love fall!!!!! Then I moved to a state where fall is just a longer summer! Sucks!

  17. I love fall as well, your post nails the reasoning dead on.. In keeping with your style of writing.. you fucking nailed it..

  18. “…muffin top becomes a three layer cake…” Haha! God, I love Fall. Cider, beer, caramel apples, beer, beef stew, beer. It’s all good. Oktoberfest should be starting right about now, right? Ah…brats…and beer.

  19. Teri says:

    I miss living at the beach and having it all to myself in the fall!! My favorite time of year!!!! And give me apple of pumpkin ANY DAY!!

  20. Liz says:

    Fall’s my favorite too. The weather, the leaves, the apple treats, the pumpkin treats, the layers of clothing to hide all the ways I’ve treated. Love Halloween. A low key holiday w/ scary movies and candy. Can’t beat it.