How to Win at Making an Ugly Christmas Sweater

How to Make A Christmas Ugly Sweater

Pinterest is over flowing with ideas to fancy up your house this holiday season. Fellow mom’s I know are warming up their glue guns and ensuring their Fiskar™ scissors are as sharp as a Samurai’s sword. All of this has made me believe that I too could be a Craft Goddess. And I am, just the wrong kind.

The Hubs and I had an upcoming event that would require a festive holiday ensemble and I knew just where to turn. I searched Pinterest and found the perfect Ugly Christmas Sweater that would catapult us to costume royalty – matching Christmas tree ensembles for myself and my husband! I had two days to craft our gems. Game on. Pinterest royalty was within reach, I could feel it – sadly I will only be feeling pain.

I spent half day searching Goodwill to find the most awesome sweaters. I was forced to settle on a green sweater that was two sizes too large for me and a white Polo long sleeve shirt for him. Up next, I needed to locate the gaudiest ornaments and old school tinsel to affix to the masterpieces. It took some time, but I persevered. Apparently 1980 style tinsel is no longer en vogue.

The first night I sewed on the tinsel to my green beauty. It dramatically draped across the sweater and down the arms. The idea was that when I put my arms up I could hold a star and look like a tree! It took hours of sewing that damn tinsel on my prized piece and I learned a few things.

1) When you stab yourself with a needle it hurts just as much the 20th time as it did the first.

2) My husband has never even threaded a needle (either that or he just didn’t want to help, which is possible).

3) Sewing in a straight line is not as easy as it looks. Actually sewing in general is not easy.

4) It is relatively easy to sew both sides together, and your sweater to the chair, if you don’t pay attention.

5) Wine does make this job less painful, but only slightly. The more wine you drink the more likely #4 will occur.

The next day I regrouped, warmed up my hot glue gun and began affixing my ornaments. I dropped one of the ornaments globbed with piping hot glue onto my finger. I proceeded to curse loudly while my son stared at me in shock. I also got glue all over my masterpiece and had two large blisters form almost immediately on my middle finger. I took great enjoyment in showing people my injury because it looked like I was flipping them off. Which I possibly was.

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Sadly, my holiday sweater looked nothing at all like the picture on Pinterest. My husband’s Christmas tree sweater was reformed into a candy cane because he refused to wear any ornaments. I also glued on all of his tinsel resulting in me burning the same damn finger again with hot glue, because I am an overachiever.

pinterest fail

My Craft Goddess status was a total failure, until Craft Fail featured my sweater. It is now a Pinterest rockstar and has been seen by over 700K people, pinned by over 2K, and liked by 1K. My fail was also featured on Buzzfeed as top Christmas Pinterest fails for 2013. I guess I truly am a Pinterest icon. Put that in your glue gun and smoke it Martha Stewart.

 

 

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  1. YAY!!! YOU WIN!!

  2. HA! Love it! You ROCK that Christmas tree sweater!!

  3. Not kidding – same project, one year ago as well, and almost same outcome (but yours looks better). I resorted to a stapler.

  4. Jana says:

    That is one horrendously fabulous Christmas sweater — and you totally rock it! Just remember to carry a star around with you at all times…OR *whispers conspiratorially* you could break out the glue gun and affix a star above the brim of a baseball cap (or better yet, a visor!)

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  1. […] I got my inspiration for this post from the lovely lady over at Shitastrophy and her post about making an ugly Christmas sweater. Too […]