Inappropriate Conversations with Kids!

Lets face it – our kids are not privy to all the inside jokes that adults are, and that’s a good thing. Often times one of my children will say something that is completely inappropriate if it was interpreted another way instead of the innocent way they meant it. This is one of those times.

One evening when our youngest was 7 years old she almost sent me running for the mountains, and her father almost stroked out right on the spot. We were on vacation in Florida and we had rented a condo. There was a lot of family togetherness and we were all about at our break point. She delivered the much needed comic relief – at least for the adults in the room.

She turned to the hubs and I and announced, “I have a special hole do you want to see it?”

I almost died – I might have rapidly blinked oh I don’t know 1 million times trying to steel myself for the conversation that was just on the precipice of occurring. I glanced cautiously at The Hubs, asked her what she was talking about. We were trying to be very non-chalant with the discussion. After all she is 7 and I was not ready to discuss special holes, at least the kind I was thinking of.

I looked at her and asked, “how many “special holes” are we talking about?”

She replies, “just the one.”

The Hubs and I made eye contact, we were struggling not to laugh but the grin was creeping in. He then said, “Well most people have two special holes.”

She proudly informed us, “nope just the one hole. Do you want to see it?”

Again we looked at each other. I could barely breathe. I cautiously said, “Umm….Sure.”

She then took her pointer finger and poked it through a hole in “bluey”, her crib bumper she uses as her blanket/security object, and waved at us with her little finger.

Thank God!

We let out a collective sigh of relief and starting laughing. Of course this prompted a whole, “What did you think I was talking about?” conversation that was squelched with “Nothing!” in unison from The Hubs and I.

I dread the day my kids realize how inappropriate I am.

 

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Comments

  1. Rhonda says:

    Nice! Glad no one overheard that out of context 🙂

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      seriously!

  2. OMG, I was speed reading through the post, holding my breath in mortal fear of which hole she was going to show you! When my son was 4, he insisted on naming his stuffed kittycat “pussy,” and he went around asking everyone if they wanted to see his big black pussy.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I read this while I was getting my hair highlighted and sat in the salon laughing out loud by myself!This might be my favorite story ever!!

    • Natalie says:

      That’s awesome!

      • theshitastrophy.com says:

        I am all things parental awesomeness.

  3. Teri says:

    Kids are SO good at getting your attention and making your mind go to places they really shouldn’t go, don’t they?? This is hilarious.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Sometimes it’s the only reason I keep them around…

  4. Heather Holter says:

    My sister, starting at around age 3, used to say “can I have your boner” to anyone when we ate pork chops, cuz she liked to chew the meat off the bone!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Please tell me she said this at restaurants too!

  5. Ashlee says:

    HAHAHA I am dying over here

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Gotta love kids – especially when they don’t realize how funny the shit they say is!!

  6. Natalie says:

    Mine are already inappropriate. Was in the middle of a fight with my husband when the 9 year old tried to interrupt. We shushed him, but he finally blurted out that the 5 year old was calling everybody “bitches”.
    I have arrived.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Holy Shit! I think that might have ended our fight…well at least on the first topic.

  7. Tom says:

    HA! That’s so classic! I made the mistake once of laughing when my then 3 year old daughter dropped an F bomb, which in turn caused her to keep saying it like every other word. I still have no clue as to where she would have picked up such vile F’ing language.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Clearly she learned it from her mother.

      • Tom says:

        But of course! Thank you for pointing that out.

        • theshitastrophy.com says:

          that’s what I am here for.

  8. That’s awesome! My little 2 year old Sabrina said something similar the other day. Her brother had a tooth ache and she says, “I know somefing that would make Edgar’s toof feel better! Screwing!” To which my husband replies, “I know screwing always makes ME feel better!” Ah! I laughed so hard! (She, of course, was referring to visiting the dentsit.) http://wedontwriteonmeat.com/screwing

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I was at my son’s basketball game when I read this – and started laughing hysterically on the sidelines. I am sure people thought I was laughing at their kid, oops!

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  1. […] son asked me if I was scared of flying balls or when my daughter announced to my husband and I that she had a special hole. These little immature moments are what helps to break up the minutia of […]