He’s Not Cheating, It’s Just Some Glitter

In the last year my little princess, who is all of 8 years old, has griped about the the clothing I have purchased for her. It started small – “this shirt is scratchy” or “these pants are not soft enough”. 

Did you catch the part where I made the error? That I purchased … without her being with me.

I noticed the clothes not being worn, the same outfits making the rounds. The arguments every morning over “Not having anything to wear!” (please say this in the most whiny manner possible). And then I realized, I had become my own mother. I remember my mother purchasing things for me as a kid that I hated but I was given no choice.

Enter the shopping trip this weekend. We hit Lands End – the epicenter of all things innocent. She selected one dress and one shirt – that was it. I sang the praises of various shirts, the sensibility of a pair of pants. Her brow furrowed, her gaze darted away from me. I realized I had to accept reality. My little girl was was coming into her own and should wear things that reflect her personality and who she is, not who I want her to be.

I made some rules – I get final veto, nothing inappropriate, modesty first. And I let her go. Something I wish my own mother had done when I was a kid.

The realization hit home when we walked past my favorite store to shop for her, Gymboree. We stopped, I asked her if she wanted to go in. She looked at me – on a precipice. Not wanting to hurt my feelings but the reality was that she no longer identified herself with their cute and adorable outfits (sob). The look that flashed across her face gave me pause. I sighed…it was time to close the door on an era. We kept walking.

We entered the overcrowded, overrun, sensory overloaded store Justice. The store I swore we would never enter. The store I was standing in watching my child’s eyes light up. Her hands touching the shirts, her head tilted to the side as she searched for just the right outfits. To me the store is like the Saved by the Bell costume designer had an affair with the 1980’s and this was their love child. But to her it was heaven.

I vetoed a lot, but let a lot go. She now has more glitter, rhinestone’s, lace, and macramé than Madonna did when she sang Holiday in 1983.

I washed her new wardrobe last night, along with some of the rest of the houses clothing. When I opened the dryer you would think a stripper lived at our house by the amount glitter that fell to the floor. I started removing her items, folding them and putting them in her basket. As I reached in to grab another I pulled out my sons sweatshirt…covered in glitter. Then my husband’s shirt awash with sparkly little flecks. I shook their clothes out hoping to rid them of their infestation, but I couldn’t get all the sparkles off. I did however spread the herpes of the craft world all over the laundry room.

So if you see any of us out and notice glitter on our clothes please realize The Hubs is not hitting the sex club, I am not moonlighting on the corner, and the 10yo has not all of a sudden decided to take on crafts. Nope…we just have a little girl that loves all things bling, or I should say a soon to be tween that loves all things sparkly.


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  1. Lance says:

    Your 8-year-old is our 9-year-old daughter, picky about her wardrobe and a total self-made fashion plate.

    My wife has had glitter on her and so have I. We resolve ourselves to the neighbors and our friends thinking we hit the strip club on a weekly basis and we’re okay with it. I just wish my wife could make some extra cash with the rumors.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      What the hell is the deal with the damn glitter? Shit gets everywhere. For the record I am considering starting the rumor I work the runway and John is a bartender – like an alternative universe.

  2. Mandi says:

    “To me the store is like the Saved by the Bell costume designer had an affair with the 1980′s and this was their love child. ” Lolz! Kelly, Zac, Slater, and Lisa all popped into my head at once, in acid washed jeans and neon.

    Sorry she’s growing up. I know that’s probably a tough pill to swallow. Mine little boy is 7 and recently became opinionated about his wardrobe. At least I have a few years left with my 3 year old daughter. You may have just inspired a trip to Gymboree.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      OMG there were quite a few acid wash outfits…just stop the insanity please. If you go to Gymboree please get the matching socks too:'(

  3. Hilarious! And SO TRUE! My sister bought glittery snowflake outfits for my girls, we were at her house and the baby had spilled milk on herself, so I changed her into it BEFORE washing it! I know, horrible mother, anyway after my husband picked her up, he was COVERED in glitter! Hilarious. And so pretty!!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I bet he looked beautiful!

  4. Dave says:

    Wait a few years. Then she’ll complain she has nothing to wear even after it’s stuff she picked. And leave it all over the floor. Both clean and dirty. Or maybe that’s just mine.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Please don’t tell me it gets worse? That makes no sense, but somehow I am sure I did that in my teenage years.

  5. Ha! So funny — and I can relate. I also love how my daughter loved to wear pink as a toddler and little girl — then about 9, REFUSED to wear ANYTHING remotely pink — then about 13, thought pink was “cool again” and loves to wear it. What the what what?

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      We are currently in a pink, purple, and anything animal print stage. I can only pray the animal print goes away very soon, and never returns when she lives under my roof.

  6. Awwwww. I love this. I have three girls and they’re all different. My oldest didnt start this until she was about 11 or 12 and she hit it with a vengance. Oh, and she would ONLY wear the tightest skinny jeans she could find and since she was in puberty (read: growth spurt) she needed a whole new wardrobe every three months for about 2 years.. My youngest started this crap around age 5 ( she has fabulous style but is very picky about what she will wear). The middle is now almost 9 and will still wear almost anything.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Three girls! Wow, you are a saint – I don’t think I could go throw the fashion crap times 3.

  7. A lovely story about children growing up, forming their own personalities and making their own decisions. That phase can be really tough for us parents. A well-crafted post.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Thank you! Yeah, its the small crap that gets me – like when she put a poster on her door. I took me a moment to accept that, I thank god it is an American Girl poster but know we are now on the path towards small steps that mean big things.

  8. Justice is like “Forever 21” for people who want to be Forever 13. That’s where my nieces shop, of course. And they’re incredibly picky, of course.

    Love the glitter infestation– when I worked at AT&T in college, I once wore a tank top that was covered in tiny little gold sequins. The manager forbade me ever wear such a thing again but I got the last laugh– there are still flecks of my shimmering essence scattered about to this day.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Sadly she is eight…I am not ready for 13 but we are well on our way. If a string comes undone on sequined shirts its like a scene out of a cartoon where the whole thing unravels. It’s always good to leave your mark.

  9. Dear God, this is *precisely* what I’m in for. Aka, what used to be my worst nightmare. I’m far from the girliest girl you will ever meet, which was why — and I am kind of ashamed to admit this — I got nervous when I found out my daughter was a girl. I had nightmares — er, visions — of pink everyfuckingwhere or shirts only adorned with butterflies and crowns…and (gasp!) the holy grail of annoyance: glitter.

    My daughter is 6 months now, and I’ve adjusted my attitude. I love and accept her no matter what. So if she wants all of that stuff, I’ll get it for her. I want her to be herself. (Besides, accepting her exactly as she is is far healthier than trying to change her…which may land her in therapy and hating me by the time she’s 7. :-/

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      OMG this is so me – I had a boy first and thought perfect messes and jeans I got this. Then had a girl and was like WTF am I gonna do with all this ruffle pink crap. God Speed.

  10. Phil says:

    That crap never goes away! I swear I still find it showing up on shirts, coats, hats, etc. Every time I help my nieces with art projects. It lasts forever.

    Now, there are those times in the sex clubs but that’s a different story…..

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Sure art projects;)

  11. I distinctly remember my dad taking me back to school shopping one year and forcing me into a pair of magenta corduroy pants. I just went along with it because it could be a real jerk as times. It was then, at the ripe old age of 10, I swore I would listen to my kids about clothes.

    Now at 30 and with a 2 year old, I find myself constantly saying the Disney character clothes aren’t in her size. It killed me to buy Disney princess undies for her but it was either that or continue to change her diaper.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      They wear you down – start strong cause soon as they sense a crack your screwed. I just stepped over the crack and will be forever trying to get back on the other side of it.

  12. I had to start accepting the fact that our daughter was no longer into the Lands End dresses that we love for her. We have done the Justice thing too, and yes, glitter is everywhere. But she is very happy!! A mom friend gave me some great advice a few years ago, she said she made a pact with her daughter, there were clothes hated, those were never going to be worn, then there were the ones she did not like, maybe a leopard print or a little too glitzy but she could live with, those were okay. And that is what I go with too. As long as it’s not low cut, or shows skin, I can deal. And she is so happy with the glitz. I also still use Lands End pieces as our basics and then let her jazz them up! Thanks for a great post!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Exactly Kathy! That is my feelings to a T! Thanks!!

  13. My daughter will be 5 in 6 days. Justice is already her favorite store for accessories. Now that she’s finally a size 6 (tall & skinny) she’s ecstatic that she can have clothes from “her store” in the mall. I’ve learned if I OK the neon, I can veto the glitter most of the time. As her dad & two brothers aren’t much into wearing it. And did I mention I HATE pink & girlie clothes myself? My wardrobe is 75% blue & black. The 3 pink shirts I own, were bought for me…by MY mother! Go figure! LOL!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I kept her away as long as I could…the lure is strong that damn store. We got plenty of neon and glitter but kept away from all the tanks that would in no way actually cover her, the shirts that were open backed (seriously WTF is that for a kid?).

  14. Ooooooo, I am so there with you. Gymboree was my very favorite for my daughter when she was little. But she has been shopping at Justice for a couple of years now. I’ve taken to washing the kids’ clothes separately. So only my son and daughter have the glitter now. My son doesn’t seem to notice (yet).

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I miss the days of Gymboree – perfectly matched little outfits, top to bottom. Today she wore day glow orange paint specked pants with a pink top and grey and orange polka dot sweater. Good news – she is easy to spot in a crowd.

  15. Oh boy, I’ve gotten the “This shirt is too scratchy” and “These pants aren’t pretty” arguments. Hardly valid, but when I’m in a hurry to get where I need to be, I settle for tutus and sparkly everything. Still learning to pick my battles.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      It really is a balance everyday on is this the hill I am gonna die on, or live to fight another one. So far I have been living. The sparkle is alluring for them.

  16. Rebecca C. says:

    *hits knees, fervently clasps hands together* THANK THE GODS AND GODDESSES I HAVE A SON.

    Who wears a trilby (because he won’t accept it’s not a fedora), skinny jeans, and headphones justbecauseMomdon’ttalktomerightnow!!

    Death Certificate:
    Cause of Death: Parent of Teenage Boy.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Ha! I got one of those too – a son, but he’s only 10 so I got time for the fashion yet. The boy fashions are just as bad as the girl ones. God speed my friend.

  17. Ashlee says:

    I used to shop there back when it was Limited Too. I was a spoiled brat and refused to wear anything but the Limited Too brand. Looking back, I can’t believe how big of an asshole I was over some sparkles and a brand name on my clothing. I did this until 8th grade. Then I went to high school, hated all of my young clothes, and had to go out and buy an all new wardrobe.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      It’s a vicious cycle, Limited Too didn’t exist when I was a kid – which was good bc my mother would have never bought me anything from there. My daughter is obsessed with the name of the clothes, yet, but oh do those sparkles mesmerize her.

  18. Mercy says:

    I’m lucky that my girls will still (mostly) wear what I buy for them, but I know this will hit at some point. My 3 year old is a pink addict, so I can never go wrong with buying pink.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Hold on tight to that stage, it is so sad when it finally starts to crack and they emerge with their own personalities and wants. Mine still loves pink so there is still a little of her toddler self in there.

  19. Celeste says:

    My now 17-year-old daughter once spread out an entire bottle of glitter over her freshly made bed, to make it pretty. It’s been over 10 years, and I swear I still have glitter show up on a daily basis!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      this had me laughing out loud! Because my 8yo would so do that – if I allowed any glitter bottles in the house.


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