My kids are lazy, and yes I know I have a hand in this as well. I’m not in denial, I realize they are lazy because I just don’t force them to do more around the house. The thing is, whenever I see any of their shit left lying around I call them out on it and make them clean it up. And if it’s not done, there are consequences. Apparently not ones that actually matter enough to ensure we do not live a Ground Hog day scenario and have the same conversation tomorrow.
Growing up if you didn’t do what you were supposed to do there was hell to pay, and by hell I mean some sort of punishment. We weren’t abused so back up the whole OH MY GOD SHE GOT SPANKED train. Yes we got spanked, no I am not a proponent of spanking, and no I do not spank my kids. However, the fear of pain did motivate me to complete what was assigned, and there was always a list. Both my parents worked leaving my sisters and I the responsibility of cleaning the house and doing yard work. Sure my mom helped out here and there, but my dad had health issues so he did not. There were no choices, no options you just did it because listening to my mother yell was not enjoyable.
But in today’s world of parenting it is decidedly not ok to spank your kids. And honestly, spanking doesn’t work. You know what all those spanks got me growing up? They got me pissed off at my parents, they created a major adversarial relationship setting the stage for years of angst. So yes they did get the dishes cleaned at the time, short term gain, but it impacted our ability to see eye-to-eye in most situations, long term loss.
As parenting techniques have evolved there has been much information to confirm spanking does not get the job done so to say. In our house we have implemented the loss of rights when things are not done as requested. This can mean no electronics, or no front seat in the car (this is a big one), no friends, no sports, etc for various amounts of time. The child is still required to do what was asked, but now they just lose something for being defiant or ignoring the request.
Here’s the thing though. It doesn’t matter!
My kids have become LAZY!
- Clothing strewn around my home. My son takes his socks off every damn day and leaves them where ever he is. It doesn’t matter – I find them in the couch, on the couch, next to the chair, in the middle of the TV room, the floor of our den, by the back door, in the bathroom. Anywhere and everywhere he gets the whim to release the toes I find the fucking socks. And every damn day he is told to pick them up and put them in the laundry room. EVERY.DAY.
- Both kids leave their plates on the table, every day they are told to get the damn plates and put them in the proper place. EVERY.DAY.
- Shoes and coats are never put away either. We even have hooks – right when you walk in the door! Nope they put them on the bench, which requires me to tell them both to come back and hang up their shit. EVERY.DAY.
- When I was a kid my father would take our shoes and throw them outside if we didn’t put them away. There was no warning, it didn’t matter if it was raining or snowing, out they went. Man did that piss me off, but now as a parent I can say I get it. I totally get it.
I love when I ask them to do something, “Hey child I birthed go bring down the garbage pails,” and the immediate response is, “How much you gonna pay me?”
Seriously WTF is THAT shit. I have NEVER paid my kids an allowance. You know what they get in exchange for a weekly allowance – they get fed, clothed, and sheltered. If they need something that is outside the realm of those three things then I will gladly work with them to find some above and beyond chores around the house to be completed to earn their cash. But Hell Fucking NO will I pay them even a dime to bring down the damn garbage cans.
So I ask you parents….What can I do to get them to do their shit without me pestering them? Do I just lose my mind and take all their electronics away? Do I ground them from all social events? Do I pay them an allowance? Please….help a momma out because this shit has gotten to the point of putting me in ORBIT.
Or as my son has said, I really need anger management classes, which he seems to not realize if he did what was asked I wouldn’t be angry. Like oh I don’t know – NOT stamping the dried mud clumps from his shoes inside the house thus making a huge fucking mess, after I had just said DO NOT PUT THOSE SHOES ON INSIDE THE HOUSE.