Stop Naming Your Kid Stupid Things

Since I highlighted Expectant Announcements, you can read about it here, I figured I would discuss what you should name your little bundle of joy upon her arrival!

Let’s face it people, you got one chance to pick your baby girls name. There really shouldn’t be a do over in this category. You need to spend some time thinking about the ramifications of the name you have chosen, this is your child we are talking about.

I researched a large sample of girl baby names from the Social Security records for 2012. The list only included names that occurred 5 or more times – digest that. More than 5 people thought these were acceptable names for their child. Here are some of my favorites, how many people actually named their child this,  and my thoughts on it. [Name, (# of people that picked this name)]

  1. Amazyn (8)/Beautiful (88)/Gorgeous (14) – These are adjectives, not names, and you spelled Amazing wrong.
  2. Baby (6) / Girl (19) – Possibly these are the ladies that are featured on TLC’s I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.
  3. Candida (6) – This is a type of yeast, not a name. Don’t even tell me about the Tony Orlando song, that shit is 40 years old and is no excuse.
  4. Chardonnay (8) – This is a type of wine, not a name.
  5. Cherry (39) – As in popped your cherry?
  6. Deva (7)/Diva (8) – This is not how you want your girl to be thought of. No employer is going to want to hire someone that thinks they are too good to do anything – trust me on this.
  7. Ferrari (5) – This is a car that you will most likely never drive. It is not what you want your kid associated with, as in I will drive Ferrari tonight.
  8. Free (5) – Your child should not be named free. I don’t care if their birthday is July 4th it is still not ok.
  9. Gift (8) – No. Just no.
  10. Happy (5) – I love Adam Sandler as much as the next guy, but Happy only goes with Gilmore.
  11. Island (15) – Could you imagine the torture this girl is going to get in elementary and high school (she’s as big as an island!)? And 15 people named their girl this!! WTF?
  12. Jewlz (5) / Trynity (13) / Trixie (10) – All I can think is that these little girls future career will involve heels, a pole, and glitter.
  13. Maybelline (5) – This is a brand of makeup – and not even the high end brand. It is not a name.
  14. Modesty (20)  / Purity (7) / Chastity (30)  – Almost a guarantee your kid will be a slut.
  15. Man (8) – why would you name a girl baby Man? Why?
  16. Peaches (6) – I don’t care if this is a family name, never an option. Ever.
  17. Price (6) – Your child is not a currency.
  18. Reason (5) – I can’t even understand this.
  19. Riot (6) – Dear lord, why would you ever name your child this?
  20. Thistle (5) – This is something that your dog gets in their fur that is fucking impossible to get out. It is not a name.
  21. Whisper (18) – You will not hear a whisper for the next 5 years, good luck with that.

Please parents think of your kids before you saddle them with a fucking ridiculous name! And if you are in doubt I found this awesome app that is available – Nametrix by Mark Edmund. It is available for both your IPhone and IPad for only $0.99!! Here is the description compliments of the Itune Store: Name research taken to another level — fascinating, real-world analysis you’ll find in no other app, website, book or anywhere else. Our software has analyzed millions of real people and their professions throughout history via data provided by the US government and Wikipedia. View the results right here in unprecedented detail.

You now have no excuse! Seriously this shit is out of control and needs to stop. Name your child a respectable name please! And if you liked the girl list be sure to check out the boy list! I actually think that one is worse!! You can read it here. Enjoy!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...




  1. I cannot get over those. Hilarious! But to be honest, I kind of like “Riot.” I know! I’m sorry!

    • says:

      It would only work with you – the last name ties it together beautifully.

  2. This is spectacular! And hilarious. (And really, really sad.) I wrote a piece earlier this year on stupid baby names (Thor – hello!), but this piece tops it by far! Truly – WTF is wrong with people. I’m pretty sure none of the girls named Ferrari were conceived in one! Thanks so much for the morning laugh.

    • says:

      I am also sure they will never be in one either! People need to really think, these poor kids.

  3. Happy only goes with Gilmore. Love!!! 😀

    • says:

      One of my favorite movies:)

  4. Ummm… Two years ago we had a new gilr at school. Her name was Epiphany. Say WHAT? And she was a little crazy…She’s gone this year. two very hard years were had by all.

    • says:

      Apparently her mother was a little nuts too -to name her that. Wrong, just wrong.

  5. I went to school with one girl named Princess… which was pretty bad…. and another girl named TEQUILA. Maybe she had a classier sister named Chardonnay, who knows.

    • says:

      Princess is a dog, and well Tequila is a drink that leaves you horribly hung over – not how you want to think of your kid.

    • Natalie says:

      Oh my God. I went to school with a Tequila too! That means there are at least two of them out there.

      • says:

        Never a good idea to name you kid after alcohol – that’s why you get a dog.

    • Pam says:

      There was a Princess at my school, too.

      Also, I know of a Chiquita. And she’s white…

      • says:

        I never met a Princess, did have a Queen work for me though (her full name was Queenester – from the bible). Poor poor Chiquita…white, black brown, purple, yellow, red, green or polka dot that is a good name.

  6. Tina says:

    When my twins were in the NICU (with normal names, too) I overhead a conversation between a new dad and the NICU nurse. Dad wanted to name the baby Champagne. The nurse asked how she should spell it and the Dad replied………..the ghetto way. WTF?

    • says:

      I am dying! What is the Ghetto version of Champagne? So wrong, poor kid – I hope they just went ahead and got her some glitter spray and stilletos on her 15th bday.

      • Maybe they meant to pronounce it Sham-pa-gan? lol That sounds ghetto doesn’t it?

        • says:

          Kinda like Shampoo’s cousin? I can’t believe someone hasn’t named their kid that Sham-poo.

  7. Sally says:

    You forgot Hashtag, lol, that is probably the worst girls name I have ever heard.

    • says:

      Oh that’s bad – thankfully less than 5 people picked that name or it would have been on the list.

    • Mommabirdies says:

      That’s the worst? Gonorrhea isn’t the worst? Pronounced Gon’orrr-Eea. I kid you not, and there was a Syphillis. Pronounced Si-Phyllis (like that’s any better). Um, ladies, you’re putting the EmPHAsis on the wrong SILaBil. I knew a kaRin. She would correct you if you pronounced it wrong. The EmPHAsis was on the RIN in case you needed to know.

  8. Rachel says:

    My friend works as a pre-school teacher and has a kid this year named D’anae. Pronounced DNA. I don’t even…

    • says:

      It’s official – that is the WORST!

    • K says:

      I worked with someone who went by the name D’nay, it was pretty bad until you learned that her real name was Heradonnis. I think I would take D’nay.

      • says:

        Uh yeah, I would totally take D’nay. I worked with a Queen, actually Queenester but she went by Queen.

        • Amanda says:

          I think I would go by Ester instead. It’s a little less pretentious than Queen. Then again, I would probably rather legally change my name to Jane on my 18th birthday.

          • says:

            Her license plate was Ms. Queen – I shit you not.

  9. WOW! those are awesome. in a funny way, not in a good-name way. I have neighbors named Precious and Diamond. And get this… I kid you not … my husband wanted to name our daughter Mythological Justice. I vetoed that one, but he fought long and hard for it.

    • says:

      Thank God you won! Poor thing would have never made it past 8th grade. That’s the thing – there is always one parent to weigh in with the voice of reason. Clearly that was not the case here.

  10. Whenever you hear names like this you always just think they are Urban Legends. Guess not if the social security admin has a record of them. Clearly celebrities are not the only ones who want to torture their children.

    • says:

      But celebrities at least have millions so their child has a chance – even if mom and dad spend it all. But these poor kids just have none.

  11. Christy says:

    I was a member of a twin club and their were def some interesting names X2. I don’t really get the rhyming or same letter names for twins…they are going to have to share EVERYTHING give them their own names for God’s sakes! My favs were a boy set named Easton and…wait for it….Weston and a set of girls named Sunshine and Morning glory. S.M.H.

    • says:

      Oh God I know those clubs! My sisters are twins (no matching or rhyming names Thank God). But have met a few, nothing as bad as those though. Horrible. You just can’t do that to your kids.

      • Amanda says:

        My aunt and uncle who are twins have matching and rhyming names. Kelly Shawn, and Shelly Dawn. Oh Grandma, WTF were you thinking?

        • says:

          Oh that’s just wrong. I am willing to bet when Grandma yelled at them she screwed those names up!

    • Pam says:

      There was a kid at my school named Easton West.

      • says:

        Ahhh North West’s long lost cousin maybe?

  12. Heather says:

    I went to school with a girl named Precious Joy. She shortened it to PJ.

    • says:

      Thank god she had the option! If she was just Precious she would be screwed.

  13. Laurie says:

    I once had a student whose name was Amyrical. Tell you what, it was a miracle that the other kids did not beat the crap out of her because she was the nastiest bully you ever did meet.

    • says:

      Amyrical? Just like Amillion….so he’s probably gone be a poor SOB when he grows up.

  14. Crystal says:

    What about Mercedes? Just as bad as Ferrari. There was a girl a couple of years older than me in school whose name was Tuesday. everyone teased her and asked if her brothers name was Wednesday. Some other names; Memphis, Cherish, Destiny, La-a (Ladasha).
    I do have to say my grandma jumped on the similar twin names band wagon. My dads name is Orville and his twin Norville who went by his middle name Dean/Deanie.

    • says:

      I went to high school with a girl named Mercedes. I think her parents were French – seriously. She went by Merce (sounds like Mer-say). So I omitted these in the search bc there is the possibility of a French origination. However, it is never ok to name your kids the days of the week. They are not part of the Adams family. And location names are all the rage – Brooklyn, England (yes there was this in the boy list), Memphis. I don’t get it, and it totally grosses me out when they explain well that’s where they were conceived. Yuck – I don’t need that visual!

    • Pam says:

      Yes, La-a! I had a patient named that and every time she had to say it, she’d say “and the dash don’t be silent!” We laughed about that one for a looooong time!

      • says:

        If you have a name that requires people to say that something in it is not silent, then chances are that is a ridiculous name.

  15. Holy…wow…umm….yeah just not okay! I have heard some pretty odd names…but really! Just…no! These are not okay! Poor kids! I did teach a kid named “Shithead” one year….it was pronounced Shi-th-ed….took everything I had not to call the kid shit head lol

    • says:

      Ok that may be one of the WORST names ever! His parents had to know every person would look at this poor boys name and call him Shithead. I am going to go out on a limb and say he will not be a future CEO ever.

  16. Southernmisfit says:

    A friend of mine “dated” a girl named Crystal last name…. Ball. And can you guess what her career choice was? I can’t make this stuff up! I wanted to ask what her stage name was, I mean, what direction do you go when your real name is Crystal Ball?

    • says:

      I know a Crystal, super sweet and nice. But to put her first name with Ball as a last name….bad parenting! My guess the direction you go in is up and down all night long.

  17. Allison says:

    My daughter has these two in her class:

    Myrakal & Mahogany

    • says:

      Poor kid has a weird name and then they go ahead and spell it weird too – it’s like a double whammy. And Mahogany – that’s a wood. Not really what I want my child to be thought of…dumb as wood / knock on wood / a males erection…all bad correlations to your child. Idiots.

  18. Tay says:

    Those names are ridiculous. Truly, I think those people must have named their kids things they heard often, or things they liked (i.e. cherry, chardonnay, ferrari). Some were probably ignorant black people who want their kid to have a pretty name, but don’t think about how the name is commonly used (i.e. Jewlz / Trynity / Trixie, Deva/Diva, Peaches, chardonnay). I can understand naming your kid after someone that has traits you want the kid to have, but that doesn’t work with names that are just words. You shouldn’t name your kid after a fruit or candy bar just because you think they are sweet!

    • says:

      I think food should be ruled out as any naming option – if you can consume it, don’t call your kid that. Rules to live by people.

  19. Natasha says:

    Mercedes was a name before it was a car, Mr Benz named the car after his daughter*
    A lot of nun’s have taken the name because it was a Saint’s name.

    *useless fact for you there 🙂

    • says:

      I didn’t know that! I didn’t put it on my list because I assumed it to be of a European descent and did not want to alienate any ethnically based names.

  20. Dork says:

    I’m kinda of surprised Whore isn’t on the list. And Slut.

    • says:

      Well, this was 5 or more children as the factor that put it on the SS department’s list – so there very well may be one or 4 out there.

  21. Jen says:

    My friend named her son “Ryott”. It’s grown on me.

    • says:

      A fellow blogger who is epically cool said she is digging Riott too. Her name is Jenn too….hmmmm….maybe I should be giving this name more credit than I did??

  22. Cilla says:

    I worked in a school for many years and there were many names that stuck out but I will never forget “Darky” and “Ya’Highness” WTF?

    • says:

      Darky? OMG – please tell me this was a Caucasian child…pretty please. You know that the kids switched that out for Dork. Horrible. And Ya’Highness? I agree – WTF is that! Wonder what she is doing these days?

      • Cilla says:

        NOT a Caucasian child! Poor thing. I have no idea what Ya’Highness is doing but I’m guessing job opportunities are limited. LOL WTF are these parents thinking?

        • says:

          Oh god…so so bad! I got a guess that Ya’Highness has spent a lot of time being high and possibly hanging out very low on other people. I may never get over Darky though, my lord is that wrong.

  23. Rosemary says:

    I had a student when I student taught in NYC named Heavenly American. I saw something on the Today Show about bad names and the winner was Marijuana Pepsi. Seriously! It was on her desk. The sign outside her office, above a bench, said “wait here for Marijuana.”

    • says:

      I wonder if her parents smoked pot? Apparently they were also going for corporate sponsorship. I could only imagine how many people were lined up to get some Marijuana. Wow – that might be the worst. Though Heavenly American is pretty horrendous too.

  24. Rheneas says:

    A former co-worker named her daughter Ikea (as in the store) because she thought it sounded pretty!

    • says:

      Always a great idea – name your kid after a place that is known for cheap furniture that is all self constructed and is housed in college dorms around the world – kinda like her kid will be.

  25. Zach says:

    I am a teacher so I get to see some very bizarre names every year. I have seen a Precious, and she was anything but, and the following year I had her sister, Heaven, who was on the fast track in the other direction. I had a Sha-nai-nay, hyphens and all, and a Quisha’ (not sure what the hyphen was doing there, but it was on her official records). I didn’t have her, but one of my co-teachers had a Freedom in her class, along with a Trixie (she went by Trix, possibly dreaming of future employment opportunities). This year, I have a 6th grader named… AMERICA. Her birthday? 9-11-01. Trying to make a statement?

    • says:

      Don’t parents realize if you name your child one thing the universe will purposefully make sure you kid is anything but?! Poor Sha-nai-nay her parents must have really loved In Living Color in the 90’s. Who doesn’t have some patriotic spirit, but don’t saddle your kid with a name like America or Freedom. Bizarre.

      • Rokkie says:

        Not actually sure if there was a Shanaynay on In Living Color, but there was on Martin. I love Shanaynay. Lol.

        • says:

          Yes there was a Shanaynay! And I LOVED that show! One of the Wayan brother’s played her…

  26. Cathy Glueck says:

    As a substitute teacher for over 10 years I’ve kept a list of unusual names and my two most baffling are still a boy named Lothario and a girl named Clandestine. As has been said, what were their parents thinking!!!!

    • says:

      Lothario! Clandestine?! What the hell? That is a lot to live up to. Poor kids. Stupid parents.

  27. Garebear says:

    What about La-sha, this was a name of a student in Louisiana. LaDasha, but the Mom didn’t spell it with Da she used a (-) dash symbol instead, get it La – sha : )

    • says:

      It’s like shorthand for idiots.

  28. HAHA! I used to know a mother and daughter named Summer and Winter. I thought that was bad.

    • says:

      I have met a Summer and a Winter, but in the same family? Oh no.

      • Rachel says:

        There was an episode of House Hunters on HGTV and the woman on the show was one of four sisters: Wynter, Spring, Summer, and Autumn. Some people should be slapped.

        • says:

          Oh dear god that’s horrible. I wonder if when they had kids if they named them April, May, June?

  29. mike says:

    I always liked the name seven (coined on Seinfeld by George) or Pepsi for a child (even though I am a coca cola guy).

    • says:

      Seven was also the name of the Brad Pitt/Morgan Freeman suspense thriller film in the 90’s. It doesn’t end well. I use to work for Pepsi but love Coke so go figure.

      • mike says:

        seven, good movie.

        • says:

          Awesome flick.

  30. B.A. Stack says:

    I knew triplets: Shablee, Shardonay and Shampayne!
    Also a little girl named Princess Chardonnay.
    And the last killer… Pleasanta
    Oh man.

    • says:

      Holy Shit! Nothing like saying your alcoholic when you name your kids after wine! WTF? And Pleasanta – reminds me of placenta…not a thing I would want to think of with my kid. Just eww.

  31. Tiffany says:

    I worked at a bank and had a customer named Mona Lisa. Her dad thought it was beautiful and she went by Lisa. There was also Secret. Her mom hid her pregnancy for a long time. My dad’s teacher was Ima Nutt. That’s just cruel

    • says:

      Ima Nut! WTF? That is cruel, horribly cruel. Secret reminds me of a deodorant – not a name. And poor Mona Lisa, she may have gone by Lisa but to have the word mona (moan) in your name…ummm it’s like a porno name gone wrong.

  32. Drive Ferrarri. Hee hee.
    I always use the standby – Supreme Court Justice BABYNAME. Does it fit? No? Not an option.

    • says:

      My standby is Aunt or Uncle. If it sounds ridiculous it is thrown out…but I do like Supreme Court Justice – much better.

  33. alissa says:

    Don’t forget Abcde (pronounced ab-sah-dee) there is a girl here in school with that name…

    • says:

      Dear lord that poor child. Kindergarten must have been very confusing.

  34. Jen says:

    In defense of “Chardonnay,” that’s probably how she was conceived. I was looking at the newborn announcements for a hospital and by far the worst name I saw was “LooWindy.” Spelled exactly like that.

    • says:

      I will take Chardonnay or Tanqueray any day over LooWindy – that is absolutely atrocious.

  35. Sarah says:

    I went to school with a guy named Jolly.

    • says:

      Was he from the North Pole?

  36. Julie says:

    God, and I named mine Kaitlin (Katie) and Peter. What was I thinking…. I need more children.

    • says:

      Seriously – mine are Jacob and Jillian. I really could have done better too. Maybe we both should have a few more and see how bad we can really make them?

  37. Julie says:

    Ha and I went to school with Melody Muzak, and Reina Little. (do you think it might?)

    • says:

      Dear lord that is a big no. Those kids never had a chance – well unless Melody became a musician and Reina a weather girl but really even then no one would believe them that those are their real names. Poor kids.

  38. Sherry says:

    I know girls named Oakley, Cagney, Calvert, Journey, and September. SMDH.

    • says:

      Oakley – are sunglasses, Cagney – was a girl cop, Calvert – is just a no, Journey – a band, not a name, and September – thats a month and should only be a month, it isn’t like May/April/June that can be kinda interchangeable. Wow. Just wrong, I feel sorry for the girls – the parents should be kicked in their shins, repeatedly.

  39. My wife works with a woman whose husband’s nephew (teen pregnancy) named his kid. Pock’its.

    FUCKING POCK’ITS with the apostrophe!!!! Lol! Good luck, son!!

    • says:

      Like Hot Pocket’s but even worse? Do they love Jim Gaffigan or something? Imbecile.

  40. Kyla says:

    The absolute worst name I ever came across was many years ago, I took swimming lessons & there was a girl in my class named Tyranny. I shit you not!

    • says:

      Holy Crap! That’s horrible!! Who the hell names their kid Tyranny????? Idiots do.

  41. Tara L says:

    I have a cousin with the middle name Moonstar…..not sure what my Aunt was thinking.

    • says:

      Friend of the Zappa’s maybe? Her diploma will look awesome with Moonstar on it (I am hoping it is a she at least).

  42. MP says:

    Honestly, I can’t stand Nevaeh mostly because it’s ALWAYS followed by “it’s heaven spelled backwards.” Yeah, thanks. I got it.

    • says:

      Oh shit really?! I never knew that…totally lying. It’s like they are justifying the name by throwing the disclaimer on the end.

  43. Angie says:

    When I was doing my nursing clinical’s I was assigned to a young mom (16) who named her daughter Secret Dreams Dye.

    • says:

      What?! Was she hoping she would grow up to be a hooker?!!!!

  44. Christine says:

    I work for a tax agency and see some DOOZIES, so to speak. 5 years ago came across a baby girl. Named…..Kashmonet. Cash money. Was her brother DollaBill Y’all?

    • says:

      I am so white I read that as cash monet (like the painter) and then got to the part about DollaBill (for the record I love that) and realized I am an idiot, but at least not a baby momma with a kid named Kashmonet idiot.

  45. Andrea says:

    My now 16-year-old daughter went to preschool with a girl named Diva. I really didn’t get it, and wonder how the name is working out now that she’s in high school. Wonder how it will look on a college application?

    • says:

      As a person that use to review a lot of resume’s I am gonna go ahead and say Diva has no chance in employment in a major corporation. She may need to consider self-employment.

  46. AmyLee says:

    I’m gonna go ahead and guess that most, if not all, of these poor kids aren’t Caucasian….if you know what I mean.

    • says:

      The caucasian kids get the wacko religious ones – Lucifer is most likely a contender.

  47. Tara Lee says:

    I went to school with four siblings the girls were Summer and Spring and the boys, Winter and Autumn. All born in their own season.

    • says:

      That’s just wrong, not to mention a boy named Winter and Autumn is horrible.

  48. Kathleen says:

    I went to elementary school with a girl (I swear to God) named Candy Barr. That poor child… My dad also worked with a guy named La’Pink Green. He was a Jr. and he’s quite successful! GO FIGURE!

    • says:

      I had to read that twice because who names a guy La’Pink?! Talk about overcoming. Wow and Candy Barr…that just sounds like a stripper to me.

  49. Koimy says:

    I worked with a girl who had a friend (girl) named…. drum roll please… Lather. O_o

    • says:

      Lather?! Was she destined to be in porn or something…oh no parents just NO!

  50. Sharon says:

    Those people that are talking about La-a (especially the “nurse who had a patient” that said “the dash don’t be silent”) is a liar. This has been a longstanding internet meme:

    • says:

      Now a days though you really never know – bc I can see some fool thinking oh that is funny and going ahead and naming their kid it. If they can call their child Lucifer anything is possible.

  51. Koimy says:

    I have a in girl..named, (sigh) Jefri (how I wanted to thump my sister in the head…)

    • says:

      Oh wow, that is gonna be a tough name to grow into. I got nothing, hopefully a wonderful middle name is an option?

  52. Erin says:

    Trixie is the only name I like on the list, but maybe because I love Trixie Belden.

    I also went to school with a girl called September. It’s not too bad, it actually suited her.
    I know a girl called Aailiyah (I think that’s how it’s spelt). I’ve also seen Azure instead of Aisa, Aaliviyah instead of Olivia, Aerynne instead of Erin (that’s my name) and there’s a child painter called Autumn de Forest (I’m not kidding. She’s a prodigal 11 year old painter but for gods sake if your last name is Forest don’t call your kid Autumn). What about those poor kids that are given names from the opposite gender? Now Jordan is a girls name and Ashleigh is a boys name.
    My grandparents decided it would be perfectly fine to call my mum Kylea Gai. She hated the spelling so much that she got it legally changed to Kylie Gaye. As if having the word “Gay” in your name wasn’t bad enough. I’m lucky I have a proper name : Erin Grace.

    • says:

      Trixie reminds me of a horse, so I am not a huge fan – and also Trix’s because well I love cereal. The whole misspelling of the names thing drives me nuts. Just spell the damn name the way people can read it and spell it too. I am not sure that I would have changed my name to a new spelling if I had been your mom…maybe just dropped the Gaye part?

    • My dad’s name is Ashley. It actually used to be a very common boy’s name (think Gone With the Wind). But Aaliviyah and Aerynne– those are just cruel.

  53. Koimy says:

    Well here are a couple of barrel scrapers that have surfaced in the past week.. Hooper…kinda dumb. Next we have Bratlyn… good Lord O_o and finally, Asslyn … I just don’t even have words… 🙁

    • Totally agree…Hooper sounds like ridiculous, Bratlyn? Uh I hope seriously this kid is a total brat bc you deserve it, and Asslyn has asshole parents.

  54. tina p says:

    I worked with a girl named Freedom and her sisters name was Nature. My sisters best friend, named her daughter Meadow Lillibell, not that bad, but I don’t like it. I like different, but come on people, kids can be mean

    • I really wish parents thought of their kids future as they have to live with these horrendous monikers…Meadow Lillibell?! Freedom and Nature. Gag.

      • Koimy says:

        My son in law is a school teacher. I’m trying to remember some of his more memorable students..
        I know he’s had a Treasure, 2- Precious’s , an Ocean, an Oceana and one Pacific. aye yi yi

  55. Shelly says:

    Great list! My husband works with a woman named…..wait for it…..VAHINA. Ummmm, yeah. Really? I just don’t even know what to say about that. Oh yeah, and there is a woman named Dimpu also. My kids laugh at that one!

    • VAHINA? Is that a derivative of vagina? WTF! I’m with your kids on Dimpu…that’s horrible.

      • Koimy says:

        I’m REALLY hoping that Vahina is pronounced Vaheena and she’s from another country O_O

  56. A says:

    My poor niece is named Božena-Marie Mineko. Yup. Pronounced Bo-Jenna Marie min-eh-co. I tried like hell to talk my sister in law out of it. My daughter was born 3 weeks later and we named her Aurora Rose.

    • That is a mouthful!

    • Koimy says:

      …sign….. her future co-workers are going to get to listen to her pronounce and spell that shit multiple times a day, EVERY day…until they want to thump her stupid mother in the head… O_o ..

      • Yup – and no one is hiring someone named Princess to be the Head of HR. I don’t care how qualified they are.

  57. ExcitablePuppy says:

    A friend who’s a supply teacher has taught a little boy called DKNY (pronounced like bikini) and another little boy called 2QT (too cute). A little girl called Bailey. and I went to college with two girls called Memory and Rhubarb.

    • DKNY? no, just horribly horribly no. I also can’t help but wonder what Rhubarb thinks, maybe she’s going by Barb?

  58. My aunt is a kindergarten teacher and she’s had students named Abcde (ab-suh-dee), Millian (million), Jett, Bryker, and Eminem (seriously). I also went to school with siblings named Embree (like embryo without the o) and Grody. Well, if Brady, Brody, and Grady are all names, why not stick Grody in there for good measure? Glad I’m plain old Stacey Lyn.


  1. […] I featured a post titled Stop Naming Your Kid Stupid Things, you can read about it here. I only showcased girl names….but you know that there is a whole other world of dumbassery […]

  2. […] how did the Girls names for 2012 compare to this year? Go check them out here. Stupidity runs deep in the U.S.A. Oh and go read the 2013 Boys list because seriously The Top 2 […]

  3. […] Please parents think of your kids before you saddle them with a fucking ridiculous name!… […]