Things I learned in Roatan: Monkey’s are A**holes & Bring Enough Cash

We spent a week in Roatan, Honduras scuba diving with an amazing group called Kids Sea Camp. The program brings together families from around the world that are interested in vacationing in tropical locales while their children safely become certified in scuba diving, or receive advance scuba certifications. We have vacationed with them twice before and […]

Running on Empty

I’ve been known to judge people, I know this is shocking. I don’t judge everyone, but there are certain groups of people that fit into my judgyMcjudgerson criteria – people who run out of gas are prime contenders. I seriously have questioned how the fuck that happens? I try to give a pass to those […]

So How’s the Diet Going?

I started dieting about 6 weeks ago, living on asparagus and salad with a side of chicken, hold the cheese, butter, sauce, and flavor for the rest of my life. I was doing quite well, but then shit hit the fan and there was a family emergency requiring extensive travel. There were copious amounts of […]

HOLY SHIT New Jersey State Police, REALLY?!

My Shitastrophy’s are not limited by state lines. Recently I traveled home to New Jersey from my quaint life in the Midwest to visit my ailing father. Within one hour of my arrival I was literally pulled from my tranquil Midwestern state to a slap in the face reminder I was not in Oz anymore. I […]

A Letter to the Political Candidate

Dear Political Candidate, It appears you have invested more in our relationship than I have invested in you, and it needs to stop. I’ve had enough of your ‘needing’ or ‘wanting’ me. Seriously just calm the hell down on all the ‘here’s where we are going’ because I gotta tell you, “WE aren’t going ANYWHERE […]

Winning Isn’t Everything

When my children first began playing sports I naturally assumed they would be the best. However, the reality was much different. Growing up I was a top athlete without even trying. I ran track/cross country (not the coolest sport to say the least) and for some unknown reason I had a natural knack to win, or […]

Lord Help Us, The Recorder Makes an Entrance

We’ve just passed a milestone here at the House of Shit. I had thought we would skate by checking this one off the parental bucket list but apparently not. My daughter recently switched schools and after her first day at the new school she came home with the most dreaded piece of equipment any school age […]

That Time I Took My Dog’s Meds

Yesterday I was tired. Like dead on my feet tired. The night before Hubs had gotten home from a trip at 11 pm and I waited till his arrival to hit him with five days worth of kid info. His head was spinning when I announced at 11:30 I was off to bed. I had an […]

Why a Mom Can’t Take a Bath

The other night I did something that was so impractical and selfish it was amazing. Something I have only done a handful of times since living in my home the last fourteen years. I’ve always been held back by the ‘after mess’, and let’s not even discuss the awkward dismount. But Friday I was pushed […]

The Nasty Truth About My Kids’ Lunch Boxes

I have a confession that will likely gross out some people, but I gotta get it off my chest and to be honest I HAVE to KNOW… am I alone? Ok gather around, closer. Are you listening, brace yourselves…The only time I wash my kids lunch boxes out are when there are literal bits of […]

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