The Eulogy of My Father

My apologies for my recent absences. My father had become grievously ill and subsequently passed away. It was not a total surprise, considering the man’s life has been on the line many many times, however he had always rebounded. I would be lying if I didn’t say a part of me expected the same outcome, […]

Winning Isn’t Everything

When my children first began playing sports I naturally assumed they would be the best. However, the reality was much different. Growing up I was a top athlete without even trying. I ran track/cross country (not the coolest sport to say the least) and for some unknown reason I had a natural knack to win, or […]

Fifty Shades of Autism

“Just as no two snowflakes are the same and everyone has a unique set of fingerprints there are shades of autism.” I tell my twelve year old son. The older he gets the more aware he has become of others who hold the same diagnosis he does. “Mom, this boy at tutoring is weird. He […]

Lord Help Us, The Recorder Makes an Entrance

We’ve just passed a milestone here at the House of Shit. I had thought we would skate by checking this one off the parental bucket list but apparently not. My daughter recently switched schools and after her first day at the new school she came home with the most dreaded piece of equipment any school age […]

The Nasty Truth About My Kids’ Lunch Boxes

I have a confession that will likely gross out some people, but I gotta get it off my chest and to be honest I HAVE to KNOW… am I alone? Ok gather around, closer. Are you listening, brace yourselves…The only time I wash my kids lunch boxes out are when there are literal bits of […]

A Mother’s Christmas List

This year I’ve set the Christmas wish list bar pretty low. In the past I have dreamed of beautiful sweaters, that I ear marked, circled the size, and lovingly put the catalog in my husband’s lap. I’ve scrolled through winter coat after winter coat online to find the perfect one to wrap myself in warmth […]

Lies We Tell About The Elf on The Shelf

If you are a parent with a child under the age of 12 you have probably heard of The Elf on the Shelf. As you know, The Elf returns to Santa every night to report on your child’s behavior and then magically reappears in a new place upon his/her return. The inter webs are full of ideas that […]

The Craziest Birth Story

Today is my oldest child’s birthday. He entered this world a month early, with an entourage. He wasn’t due until September 29th, but when I awoke on the morning of September 4th I was sure I wet the bed. After rousing my beloved with a slight tap that received nary a grunt I hauled my […]

Grocery Store Fail

I’m not gonna lie, the kids finally leaving for school was pretty nice. You know what I did with all that free time? I worked, uninterrupted for hours. It was divine. I started a project and was actually able to devout real time to it! I don’t think I can stress how close I was […]

30 Must Have Mom Skills

It’s almost the start of football season, and although the draft and signing days have passed I wondered what it would look like if I could draft the perfect Mom Team. This team would require multiple star players because NO ONE CAN DO ALL THIS SHIT THEMSELVES. Mom’s hold so many hats and are only one person, […]

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