You Can Take Your Swag and Shove It

Dearest Swag Giving Companies, I know you think your shit is awesome and that we are just DYING for free shit here in America, and we are, but there is a limit to the amount and kind of shit we want. We don’t want your free stress ball, because we will probably give it to a […]

Sports Bra Failure

Dearest Sports Bra of Mine, Your one job is to keep things in and you do one hell of a job. Nothing is escaping you, and that includes me. You got the market/boob cornered in containment. You sir (yes I am assuming you are a man because no woman would hold on that tight to a […]

A Letter to Bra Designers

Dearest Bra Designers, I think we have reached the point in our relationship I can be honest with you. You’ve been there through weight gain, weight loss, pregnancy, nursing, dating and marriage. You really have been a big supporter in my life. However, like all good relationships I have noticed some issues that need to be addressed. You seem to have the […]

10 Ways To Get Out of School Early

Dear Children of Mine, Each week I seem to have at least one of you contacting me to request I pick you up from school early. The reasons run the gauntlet from illness, aches and pains, to a general dislike of your day. I have clearly explained the requirements that must be met in order to […]

Dear Mom Screaming at her Kid

Dear Mom Screaming at her Kid, I couldn’t help but hear you yesterday at the grocery store. You were screaming very loudly at your toddler and I was located somewhere within the store. Actually, I was three aisles over when I first heard your little guy hysterical crying, and you berating him in a completely unnecessary way. As […]

Go The Hell To Sleep!

There are many different ways to be woken up – and truthfully they all suck. See I am a huge fan of sleeping, I could seriously sleep 10 hours a day if permitted. Sadly, those days are gone. Now I have two kids and two dogs that seem to not realize that I do not […]

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