The Dorito As the Holy Trinity, Or Not


The other day we were driving home from some kid activity when my daughter announced with gusto from the backseat of the car, “I GOT IT!”, while shoveling handfuls of Doritos in her mouth. (I’m all about healthy snacks)

I wasn’t really sure what the hell she was talking about, so I bit.

“What do you GOT?”

“I know what I am doing for my religion presentation!” She said with excitement. (my daughter goes to Catholic school)

My parenting/academic stance is I stay out of their homework unless they need help. I do not hover, I do not berate, I do not get involved. I’ve already passed elementary school, it’s their turn to show up and do the work. So considering I had no idea what presentation she was talking about I just nodded and pined for a few Doritos. Arriving home she got to work, the presentation required her to compare some object in her everyday world to the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit). In my kid’s mind the Dorito perfectly summed up the Holy Trinity and I gotta say I was kinda impressed. I should also mention Doritos are my favorite snack.

She wrote out her one paragraph spiel, which I read over and desperately wanted to sprinkle a little nacho cheese fairy dust on to spice it up, but I stayed out of it. She spoke about the three points of the Dorito, how without one of the points the Dorito is not whole just like without one part of the Holy Spirit she is not whole (ok this is quite a stretch, but for an 11 year old I thought it was quite the analogy). She touched on how the Nacho Cheese flavor gets everywhere when you eat Doritos, just like the Holy Spirit is everywhere.

I thought it was quite genius.

The day of the big presentation came and she brought in Doritos as a visual for her great lecture. I was pretty sure she was knocking this assignment right out of the pearly gates. How could she not? I mean a DORITO as the HOLY SPIRIT. That’s A+ shit right there. That’s GOLD, or nacho awesomeness.

Turns out it’s probably a good thing I don’t get involved in her homework because what I thought was an AMAZING presentation resulted in a C. Some kid did theirs on an apple and got a better grade, guess junk food really is the root of all evil. But I’d like to think Jesus would approve, and would very much like the yumminess of Doritos over the apple. After all, that apple got Adam and Eve in a whole heap of trouble, but the Dorito never did.

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  1. Julie says:

    She only got a C?? I would demand a parent / teacher conference! That comparison was outstanding, and I speak as a parent who put her daughter through Catholic school, K – 8.