The HOA Has Created A Bunch of A-holes


There is a rampant amount of douchery going on in neighborhoods around America and I have had it. When the fuck did it become common to just report people to the ‘Almighty Neighborhood Mafia’ (HOA) without first attempting to converse with the offender, and by offender I mean neighbor. WHY can people not walk across the street, or maybe even just next door (no potential for even being hit by a car!) and talk like normal adults, highlighting the issue(s).

Have we all just morphed into assholes that must run to the ‘Mommy and Daddy’ of the neighborhood to tattle on something that bothers them? Case in point, my lovely neighbors who complained to the architectural committee that our landscape project was incomplete. Yes, I do realize it is not done. I am very sorry it rained all of November and snowed all those winter months making a landscaping project difficult to complete in the arctic tundra where we live. And sure I realize the snow has been melted all of three weeks now and we have yet to pounce on completing the project like I suppose a good/rich homeowner would have.

Did it ever occur to this person that possibly, just possibly, the equipment was not available because commercial projects and higher end residential projects took precedent in the pocket of the operator of the equipment? My guess is no. I won’t even mention the fact that the project isn’t visible to anyone but the one house across the street that is currently staging pallets of mega stone in the cul-de-sac, the place that is forbidden to have anything parked in it overnight. But you know what I didn’t do? I didn’t say shit about it, I didn’t call the Neighborhood Mafia and complain. Nor did I say anything about the other neighbor who parked their car in the street for most of the winter. You know why? Because I don’t give a crap if their car is in the street. Just like I woulda laughed my ass off if it got hit by the snow plows. That’s called karma, it would have worked itself out all on it’s own.

When did we become a society where complaining to a higher power about every fucking little piece of minutia was somehow acceptable? Can we not personally deal with anything anymore? MUST there be a board, association, organization, director of everything to settle our disputes? When did we stop communicating with each other, being neighbors, or hell just ADULTS?

This is just one of the many reasons America is raising a bunch of children that expect the world on a platter. Children get their lead from the adults around them, and when those individuals are incapable of solving any fucking problem on their own they teach their children the lesson that in times of conflict they should race to someone else to intercede and solve their problems. The country is FULL of adults who hide and cower behind the cloak of the law, or whatever power is in charge – the PTA, the HOA, Athletic Director, the list goes on and on like a winding road to hell.

Why not teach kids through example how to solve problems together, communicate rationally, and learn how to lay a foundation of respect and openness?

I often lament about how good my kids have it over when I grew up, but there are plenty of examples of how different their life is now. I grew up in a neighborhood that interacted, albeit limitedly, but if there was an issue it was first discussed among the pertinent parties. There were no other parties involved, neither the law or an HOA. It wasn’t necessary. Case in point, when my sisters were babies the neighbor would race his Harley up and down the street for hours, you know what my father did? He walked up the street and asked the man to stop. He didn’t call the police and file a grievance. He solved it, on his own.

Shit I remember as a kid our other neighbor’s home had feral cats living in the overgrown waist high grass in their backyard. After repeated attempts at asking them to mow the backyard, my mother got so mad she constructed a wooden post with a sign, stomped into their yard, and hammered that fucker in the ground just in sight of their backdoor. The sign read “No Hunting”. They mowed the lawn shortly after, the point was made.

Can we stop passing the buck up the line for someone else to do our dirty work, and instead start learning how to interact with one another? Let’s teach our children how to resolve conflict, how to solve problems through communication, and stop teaching our kids to be tattlers.


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  1. Jana says:

    When we were looking to buy a house, that was one thing on the very top of the list — no HOA. I understand that they may be useful — because they prevent trailer trash neighbors from filling their front yard with junk cars that are rusty and up on blocks and such — but I just made sure I didn’t move into a neighborhood that had junk cars on display. And then I went around and met my neighbors, to make sure they were not trashy and/or axe murderers. Sure there are a few neighbors that may not keep their house/landscaping exactly how I would keep mine — but there are more important things in life than obsessing about things like that.

  2. Phil says:

    I am so glad I escaped the suburbs so many years ago. This crap used to go on in our old neighborhood and my parents wanted to strangle some people. My dad almost went ballistic because our garbage can was reported to be at curbside too long on garbage day and wasn’t put way soon enough after they emptied it. Considering we were all at work and the dimwit neighbors didn’t care. That was the final straw. I moved into Manhattan and my parents went to Florida!