Truck Nuts? WTF?

Recently I took my daughter and her friend to a dining establishment where I happened to see blue balls hanging off the back of a truck! WTF is that all about? I risked my life grabbing this picture for your enjoyment.

BlueBallsI had to look up what the hell this is all about?  Inquiring minds needed to know. I turned to my trusty buddy Google.

The first thing I stumbled across was Urban Dictionary that described them to be: A pair of testicles attached to the rear of a car or truck used as an international symbol allowing homosexual men to identify each other. Red or blue colors are used to indicate if the vehicle owner is a “top” or a “bottom” while other colors indicate “no preference” as well as usual, or unusual preferences.

Size of the nuts have no direct relationship to the actual size of the owner’s penis and are usually misleading – (good to know, thank you Urban Dictionary)

So this confused me a bit, if these are a symbol identifying homosexual men couldn’t they go for something less grotesque? Cause seriously we all know gay men are way more fashionable and cultured than to allow a pair of blue or red nuts sway off the back of their vehicles. This could not be why these blue balls were on this truck. I think it is safe to say this reason is completely false, there is no Brokeback Mountain behind the purpose for these special items.

I had to keep digging.

Definition 2 from Urban Dictionary,

Originally bulls-balls, and now also human looking scrotum hanging from underneath the back of a truck. Usually to remind followers that the truck is masculine. Different colors indicate subtle meanings. Usually considered a redneck acroutrament.
Well I don’t think we need to be calling people derogatory names like redneck just because they have a truck with balls hanging on them. I have my suspicions they were added as a little swag on the back hitch as a joke initially and then they took off. I can see the humor in some nuts, I suppose I could just as easily swing some ta-tas off the back of my minivan. Though I probably won’t.
But to have the blue nuts? Why not flesh colored? I have seen chrome ones – that makes a little sense (nuts of steel) would indicate an intense amount of strength. However, blue? Blue balls are not something that I would think most men would want to advertise, and I have seen first hand how they can be quite painful.
There must be more to this than meets the eye, or nut.
I kept digging and then I found it, the holy grail – bullsballs.com. The website touts “Bull Balls & Big Boy Nuts in blue are an accessory that say only in USA can you show your balls like this.” Well there you guy blue is because your balls are patriotic? Who knew!
Have you ever seen these before?
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Comments

  1. Nope never seen this before, but must say great investigating and getting to the bottom of this craziness!!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I am gonna go out on a limb here and say it must be a midwest thing? I can’t imagine anyone in Jersey or NY having this on their vehicle. I was literally in shock when I saw it – which is hard to do.

      • Anny says:

        In jersey and just saw them, which is why I googled it and ended up reading this article. Still not convinced of why anyone needs to hang balls off their trucks!! An ego thing?

        • As a born and raised Jersey girl I gotta say NOOOOO!!!!! Jersey please don’t do it!

      • Jay says:

        Plenty of people in NY have bull nuts hanging from their vehicle!!

    • Alexis says:

      haha i have a pair of blue balls on a truck and i’m a straight female i just think they are funny and before anyone starts complaining. it’s a joke it’s suppose to be funny a lot more people put ridiculous things are their vehicles so relax

  2. J says:

    Well we are from Jersey & my dad got a pair of Red ones from someone in northern Louisiana & Texas, I remember the phrase “Show em your nuts as well” but back east after the birthday dinner (as it was in this case) or whatever is over you throw the nuts in the back of a drawer somewhere, where they will sit for many years until they are thrown out or re gifted, apparently they like them alot, because my sisters husband got a pair of golden nuts as well a Christmas or two later, not sure what happened to them, they could be hanging off a vehicle right now… Anyways, hope all is going well & you are having a great one…

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Please keep Jersey safe – no truck nuts on any vehicles!

  3. I saw them once in Massachusetts. So gross. They should be considered “indecent exposure.” I think those Urban Dictionary entries aren’t true, though. I think they’re just trying to humiliate gross rednecks who like to show the world their balls (like they needed help).

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Seriously should be banned. A guys balls really do nothing for any woman I have ever talked to about this – which is limited but still a 100% agreement of their grotesqueness. The idea of putting them on your truck? Wrong on many levels. I may have to dig deeper to find out the real truth, cause now I am really intrigued….

      • Amy says:

        It is nothing more than saying “my truck has balls.” It’s a guys way of telling everyone his truck is better than theirs. I know, I don’t gt it either. I think it’s code for “I have small penis” myself, but nobody I’ve said that to is impressed with my definition

  4. I’ve seen these too. Unfortunately, so did my boys. Oh how they talked about it. And talked about it. Aaaannnddd talked about it. Wtf indeed! That’s some balls to the pavement shit!

  5. OMG–love this! I am a drinker of the Google Kool-aid myself. And SO glad that you kept digging to find the truth! Clearly that Urban Dictionary entry was a ruse. Seriously? How many gay guys are riding around in pick-up trucks? Now if I had seen a pair hanging from a Prius, THEN I’d believe it……

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I love that commercial that calls out all the BS you find on the internet that people think are truths. I was a little unsure that the origin was an indicator of gay guys – trucks and gay men are not a combo that comes to mind. I agree maybe a Prius 🙂

  6. I live in western Pennsylvania where the manly men hunt and the wanna-be-manly men wear balls on the back of their trucks. I personally prefer my man, who keeps his balls to himself and doesn’t kill animals, but the rest of the state is confused by him.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I live in Michigan where we can’t see anyone from October – March because they are all dressed in camo. Dead animals are a very important status symbol. We have dead fish on our cabin walls, not my choice. However, the truck nuts thing is just mind boggling. Please men – do us all a service – and keep your shriveled balls in under wraps.

      • Jack handy says:

        I live in Michigan also . And everyone and everyware I look there’s balls dangling off people’s bumpers. At least up north . You get into the city and it’s just chinesse women

  7. I actually have seen them before and now, I can’t remember where. I’m from Colorado, my husband is from Tennessee and we live near DC, so it could have been any of those places. When I did see them, they were hanging off of a redneck truck, too. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to tell a homophobic dude that he’s actually advertising that he’s gay, likes the top, and hasn’t had any in a while? HA.

  8. Roshni says:

    I appreciate the research you did! 😛 And completely agree with you that gay men are far classier than that! 😀

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Someone had to look into this atrocious vehicle ornament! And seriously, I challenge you to find me a gay male that would EVER put something like this on a car! Which is why I am ruling Urban Dictionary definition #1 as totally false.

  9. Suzanne says:

    I’m from Southern CA and they are everywhere here. It’s normal to see them driving down the highway. Generally the “bros” or guys with huge, lifted trucks that live out nearer the desert areas and ride dirt bikes and ATV’s have them on their trucks.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Oh that’s horrible! Don’t these men realize that it is completely ridiculous?! I can not imagine a woman being impressed with this sign of machoism. I am so sorry you have had to be subjected to these – it really needs to stop.

      • Suzanne says:

        I think we’re all just jaded by it as there’s much worse! I’ve seen women with pink balls hanging off their trucks that have signs on them that say “Silly boys, trucks are for girls”. It’s an image thing out here. What they don’t realize is that it completely labels them as from the “IE” or Inland Empire, Riverside County which we consider to be the shitty part of Southern CA, LOL.

        • theshitastrophy.com says:

          Say it isn’t so! Pink Balls, OMG wrong beyond belief. Do people not realize that this is not an enticer in any form? Yuck. I have been to IE – it could use a fresh coat of paint, or maybe just a hose.

          • Suzanne says:

            A hose. Definitely a hose! Preferably fire truck size…

  10. Michelle says:

    I’ve seen them a couple times here in Missouri. The last time was at the grocery store. I was in the parking lot when the owner of the truck was about to get back in…so I decided to say, “hey, nice nuts”…he just smiled and turned bright red lol. I got a good laugh out of it lol.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      I am gonna have to borrow that! I live in Michigan right on the Indiana border…there are a lot of nuts here too.

      • Amy says:

        It has to be a regional thing. They are all over the place in Toledo

  11. Cameren says:

    The reason people put balls on their trucks is to annoy people like you guys.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Oh it doesn’t annoy me – it’s not on my husband’s car…that would annoy me. I just can’t understand why you would want to put nuts on your truck.

    • Hugh says:

      I agree, what would really be interesting is a female version of truck nutz, to annoy all those female prudes. Can you imagine the fuss created across North American, not to mention the laws created to stop the practice.

  12. Jacqueline says:

    I saw my first truck nuts a few weeks ago (I live in Portland, OR). I guessed they were a macho thing and I agree with not understanding how advertising “blue balls” is something guys would want to do?

    I like my men to be strong on the inside; no need to shake your balls in my face to prove you have them. I wouldn’t date a truck nuts owner.

    • Nothing says – never in a million years – than a pair of balls hanging off a truck. Just no.

  13. Nathan r brown says:

    Ok let me start off first by saying truck nuts are stupid .. I’m a professional truck driver .. For the past fifteen years this trend started off with aka bull haulers hanging them from the dot bumpers to show off there bull balls .. Yes I know truck drivers can be crude .. But don’t lump us all into that category u wouldn’t know by looking at me or talking to me that I was a driver I’m clean smell good and my wife likes me to dress nice even when I’m working .. This ball hanging fad will go away .. But I really am not looking forward to seeing what’s next .. Personally I’ve thought about hanging a pair of blue ones on my wife’s ex-husbands truck because he kinda reminds me of a girl .. But that’s just a thought I know childish but so is just beating him senseless isn’t adult so I’ll just keep my hands and plans for him to myself

    • Nathan – I spent 10 years in Transportation, and even managed a private fleet. I would never assume all drivers are crude or look a certain way. My guys were as different as the wind blows. But I am with you on saying they are stupid…I am surprised the Ex doesn’t already have a pair swinging in the wind. Sounds like it could be a perfect match for him.

  14. Becky says:

    I have just started reading your blog and after reading the Lawn Ornament post and now the truck nut post, the only thing I could think was that surely you must live in Indiana or a State very close to it! And sure enough, you live in Indiana!

    Welcome to the state of truck nuts and lawn ornaments from a fellow Hoosier!

    • HA!! Yes I am a Hoosier…well technically I live on the state line in Michigan…but we do everything in Indiana and consider ourselves full Hoosiers 🙂

  15. Tim says:

    As a lifelong auto enthusiast that has owned sports cars I can understand it. The nutz are not meant to be sexual really, but a signal from one male truck owner to another, that yeh my truck has balls (a big engine or lift/tires, or a lot of power and torque). I don’t necessarily condone it, but I get it, and I’ve never heard of it meaning anything homosexual etc in that nature. I have seen them plenty around here in CT. I am not a fan of the flesh colored ones being a bit too graphic, but I think the chrome or less subtle ones are a little more acceptable.

    • Yeah I am not so sure it has a homosexual tie in to it, just what I found online. But regardless it is just not a good look, just as I think half naked ladies on mud flaps is not a good look either. I am no prude either, just think we can keep the anatomical car ornaments off the road please.

  16. Amy says:

    Unfortunately we have them in NC. I don’t like them at all and the first time I saw them I stared because I just knew it couldn’t be what it looked liked. It’s mostly a redneck thing in my area. So maybe the little redneck girls here like them. I’ve only seen silver tone though, no colors. It’s interesting to know they are used in the gay community, I didn’t know that.

  17. hunter says:

    It’s mainly a south thing, ive had em on my huge jacked up diesel truck for years! Plenty of other people down here in south carolina also have em. Mine are chrome

    • I live in Michigan – they are here too. It would be like putting a pair of boobs on my car. Maybe I would finally get the pair I wanted though!

  18. hunter says:

    Oh yea an the whole gay people having them is complete bullshit. Probobly some city kid who thinks there stupid jus tryn to make rednecks and others look gay for having them…

    • I gotta admit it seems strange that gay men would hang these on their trucks, but of course I can’t see a gay man having a truck so what do I know! I found it in online though – and we all know everything you read online is 100% right.

  19. Oh my god, I fucking love truck nuts. I want to buy some for my husband and secretly install them on the golf cart he drives at work.

    • That is genius! I do have to say that they are growing on me, every time I see a pair I get a chuckle. I’m not sure that is what the user is going for but still.

    • kevin says:

      Lol that may be a first no female I know likes them good to hear though

      • Jennifer says:

        I have a pair of hot pink ones hanging off my lifted chevy lol Im a 34 yr old mom of 4! They were given to me as a gag gift when I bought my truck. I find the looks and comments from people halarious!! They don’t mean anything to me purely there for my amusement😜

        • reese says:

          lol you must get lots of comments.It hard not to see a pair of hot pink balls hanging from a bumper those things are quite a laugh.

  20. Frederick says:

    I really hate seeing these stupid things. They’re ridiculously obnoxious and gross. Doesn’t help that the owner of the truck I first saw them on is a redneck douchebag who I despise, who owns a shitty, obnoxious yellow truck with a confederate navy jack bumper sticker. Seeing these makes me want to kick the owner in their actual balls.

  21. Kevin says:

    Hello very funny post.I drove for a living and see those balls all the time just swinging and bouncing.It looks so painful not to mention embarrassing.I prefer to keep my balls out of sight and nice and safe

  22. kevin says:

    I drive for a living and see all different kinds of truck balls bouncing and swinging around it look a bit painful.I prefer to keep my balls hidden and out of danger.Not to mention it does get a bit embarrassing.
    very funny post though and love all the comments.

  23. ted says:

    Yes I have seen them all over town so funny yet embarrassing

    • ron says:

      LOL I know what you mean.

Trackbacks

  1. […] whipped out my phone and started snapping away like we were on a photo shoot. If you remember my Truck Nuts post was also taken at a fast food place with my daughter – coincidence? I think […]