The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas

Enough with the 12 Days Before Christmas, I have created the 12 Days AFTER Christmas – when shit gets real. If you want to know what the next two weeks may look like here is a glimpse into having the kids home from school.

The Twelve Days After Christmas
 
On the first day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Shit still under our tree
 
On the second day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the third day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the fourth day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Four other kids at our house
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the fifth day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Five screams of “Leave me alone!”
Four other kids at our house
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the sixth day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Six toys eaten by the dog
Five screams of “Leave me alone!”
Four other kids at our house
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the seventh day after Christmas
My family gave to me
Seven loads of laundry 
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the eighth day after Christmas 
My family gave to me 
Eight Disney shows on repeat
Seven loads of laundry
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the ninth day after Christmas 
My family gave to me
Nine chants of “I’m Hungry!” 
Eight Disney shows on repeat
Seven loads of laundry
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me Alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the tenth day after Christmas 
My family gave to me
Ten butts a tooting
Nine chants of “I’m Hungry!” 
Eight Disney shows on repeat
Seven loads of laundry
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me Alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the eleventh day after Christmas
My family gave to me 
Eleven empty promises to clean up their rooms
Ten butts a tooting
Nine chants of “I’m Hungry!” 
Eight Disney shows on repeat
Seven loads of laundry
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me Alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
On the twelfth day after Christmas
My family gave to me
twelve dishes stacked in the sink
Eleven empty promises to clean up their rooms
Ten butts a tooting
Nine chants of “I’m Hungry!” 
Eight Disney shows on repeat
Seven loads of laundry
Six toys eaten by the dog 
Five screams of “Leave me alone!” 
Four other kids at our house 
Three breakfasts for the 8 year old
Two bored kids and
Shit still under our tree
 
 12DaysofXmas
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Comments

  1. Rhonda says:

    Love it! I think this pretty much sums it up. Almost time to start counting the days until they go back to school 😉

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Wait you haven’t started counting yet??

  2. This is, of course, a new Christmas classic and should be played in all malls, on AM/Fm radio, in elevators, and between station breaks from now into eternity with you receiving royalties, becoming rich, and then hiring actors to play the parts of all offending real life members. Let’s find you an agent.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Are you available? I need to have an agent I really like and that understands me – you fit the bill 100%

  3. Ten butts a tooting? Hilarious! Love this song!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      That was in honor of my daughter;)

  4. We had those ten butts a tooting last night. Too many appetizers, I guess. 🙂 Very creative and funny!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      But appetizers are soooo good – makes it worth the tooting.

  5. Well ours do not return to school until January 6th . Yep you read that right. Luckily mine are pretty good at self entertaining.. Thank goodness or I would be checking into the mental hospital for a break and the crayons..

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Mine go back Jan 7th…because the teachers need a day “to prepare the environment” – the go to Montessori. I might be there in the hospital with you.

  6. Definitely a new classic! So much more true than those damn turtle doves and maids a milking. Yep there’s still shit under my tree too!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      There will be shit under my tree for days still – and not because they got so much, but because – kids.

  7. I sang the whole thing. That other version – snore – but this one I get.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Seriously – WTF are maids milking…time to update that diddy to the new millennium.

  8. Diane says:

    I remember these days! I do! Now I’ve got the Grandparent’s version. You should witness that! 🙂

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Oh I can’t wait for that one! Cause the parent version is exhausting!!

  9. Really only seven loads of laundry?

    This was too funny and sadly too true!

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      Truthfully – that is in a day. My in laws were here visiting and my MIL told me she has never seen someone have as much laundry as we do. I am an overachiever – only fitting it is in the laundry department too.

  10. You nailed it – right down to the tootin’.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      My daughter is a classy girl – she is represented with the tooting.

  11. One was home for 24 hours. One is home for a month and the other is “home” for a few weeks while he moves from his current house to a newer one. I’m on crutches and I can’t even begin to take down Christmas or clean up the holiday debris.

  12. Haha! That is really good. Butts a tooting is a beauty.

    • theshitastrophy.com says:

      thanks! Seriously – my kids love to crop dust a room. It’s beyond gross.