Vagina Earrings, Enough Said

Vagina Earrings

Most women will tell you the accessories you put with any outfit completes the ensemble. The choice in necklace can make or break a perfect look. Sounds foolish but it’s true. Have you ever watched the red carpet reviews? The focus is not only on the amazing dresses but also the selection of jewels. Famous jewelry designers Fred Leighton, Harry Winston, Neil Lane, or Lorraine  Schwartz are always represented.

‘It’s all in the details’ is a very true sentiment with regards to women’s jewels.

I myself am more of a silver gal, sometimes I may get a little crazy and put on a pair of gold earrings. I only wear hoop earrings, it’s my signature look, since they go with everything and are kinda benign. Though if I am really living on the edge I may don a turquoise necklace. I do have some lovely beaded and jeweled creations as well, although I do not wear them too often.

You know what I do not have? I don’t have this.

 

These intricately designed beauties are actually meant to depict a woman’s lower antilles, her vulva. You read that right, vulva earrings! And for those special people who can’t have enough genitalia on them there is also a vulva necklace! Who could resist a matching set? It’s an accessory ménage à trois!

When I asked people what they thought these were, I heard some funny answers. I did have to first point all of them in the direction of it being anatomical. One individual said testicles (seriously no idea), another intestines, and finally one said stomach. I personally didn’t think vulva either when I first laid my eyes on them. Which is why these are the perfect accessory. Who doesn’t like an inside joke, and this one is so inside only a few (excluding your gynecologist) get a chance to see it!

Think of how many people will be complimenting you on your newest accessories for your jewel box.

“Oh Marcia, I LOVE those earrings!”

“Thanks Jan, they are actually a vulva. Some people like to wear their heart on their sleeve, I like to wear my vulva on my ears.”

There is also this item coming out soon, (I really should turn that ‘o’ into a ‘u’, but I won’t).

 

Hooded clit earrings! These actually look closer to what it is depicting, in my professional opinion of a clitoris, but truthfully I doubt any person would be able to look at these little pink numbers and think, “You know I think that woman is wearing clit earrings!” But these are not just perfect for you, think of all the possibilities!

These jewels are also wonderful gifts for that family member that is a cu*t (I hate that word, so no I will not just write it out). You can snicker when you give her basically a self portrait at the next holiday event! Or for the neighbor whose dog keeps shitting in your yard! Your boss who whose been an asshole all year! Man the list of possible candidates is as long as the presidential race.

I do give the designer a lot of credit, stringing all those beads together to create the perfect subtle accessory for that bitch in your life truly is a gift that will keep on giving. Finally here is some bedazzling of the va-jay-jay I can support!

Seriously though, they really are nice and I would totally wear these, if no one knew I was wearing vulva earrings. 

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  1. Haaaaaa!!!! I have……(*LAUGH*)….no (*SNORT*)….words…..(uncontrollable giggles)….

  2. Phil says:

    At first I laughed when I saw the title of this post, and then I actually read this and saw the pics. WTF???

    Can you imagine giving these to your mom, or grandma? Merry Christmas! Happy Mother’s Day! I just knew you needed some clitty earrings!

    What’s next? Matching penis pins and pendants?

  3. I need these to go with my vagina neon. Thanks for the heads up! (Get it? Heads…up? I know….that was whore-able! Okay, I’ll stop.)