You Asked, Here’s the Answers

The Shitastrophy-2

I have been blogging for just about two years now and have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people both virtually and in real life. I have to say it’s pretty awesome making a connection with like minded people, even if we don’t live anywhere near each other. I felt like it was time I opened up to some questions from readers, yes I realize I share a lot of shit already but these are more of a get to know the person behind the blog kinda thing. So here goes.

  1. What’s your middle name: Claire, I am named after my amazing Aunt who seriously is the most wonderful person in the world. My daughter shares the same middle name as well.
  2. Biggest Pet Peeve: I think idiots in general piss me the fuck off – drivers that don’t turn right in the right hand lane, people who don’t watch their kids, people who go through the security check line with ten bottles of liquid and try to argue it, women who try to dumb themselves down for a man, oh and my kids throwing their shit on the floor and not cleaning up their messes. This is the shit that sets me free.
  3. Attacked by bees or bear: Bear hands down – considering I have a Bear I pick him.
  4. Which Reality TV show would I want to do and why: I think Amazing Race just because you get to see the world, I love the idea of exploring new places and traveling to remote locales. The only issue is I would probably not make it too far in the actual game because seriously carrying buckets of water up a hill in record time isn’t my thing. Maybe they could just hire me as the dude that hands out the cards or something.
  5. How does The Hubs feel about the blog: Initially he was against it. He is pretty conservative and has a big league job with a major corporation. He was less than enthused to be tied to my profanity ridden rants. However, he has come around over time – it took about a year – and we have an agreement, if a post is about him or the kids he gets to read it before it publishes, and can banish it. I think at this point he has given up and just goes with it. Also, he has co-workers that have commented how much they enjoy it so I think that has helped. And then there was that time I wrote the post about our shitty hotel stay in St. Thomas and was able to negotiate half of our bill back (in points not cash, but still) if I took the post down, so yeah I think that was ultimately what swayed him to endorse Team Shitastrophy.
  6. When I was a kid what did I want to be when I grew up: An archeologist
  7. What do I want to be now that I am an adult: A successful writer that is able to generate an income above “hey look kids we can go to the dollar store and get one box of candy!”
  8. What made me share my life: Well I think the biggest reason is because I want to connect with others that have the same perpetual black cloud and can laugh about it. What’s that saying…misery loves company?
  9. Formal education: I am a college graduate with a BS (seriously could this be any more appropriate) in Business with a concentration in Logistics. I spent 10 years working in corporate America and rose to be a Transportation Manager. I have always been interested in writing and wrote my first book when I was in 6th grade. I have no formal writing education other than core classes required in college. Interesting side note though … when I took my GMATs for my MBA (only did 1 year because we moved to Texas) I scored in the top 5% of the country on my written part, so there’s that.
  10. Shittiest thing My kids have ever done: Honestly I can not think of anything. Last year for Mother’s Day The Hubs was at school in Tennessee and I was alone with the kids. My daughter took $20 from my wallet and had our neighbor take her to the store so she could buy me a raft to float on in the lake. So yeah, I’m lucky my kids are awesome. They just drive me kinda loco at times. And if it makes you feel better my son has made me cry quite a few times, but well thus is life with an autistic kid.
  11. Would I redo/have a do over for any point in my life: Nope, and trust me there are a bazillion moments to redo but I wouldn’t. Why? Well all have added to who I am today and I wouldn’t want to be any other person.
  12. How do I not run screaming from the many Shitastrophy’s in my life: Initially I have to say I typically have a complete WTF meltdown, it is not until some time has passed that I can find humor in the moments. The blog has also helped because now I am like, “oh fuck that’s totally going on the blog!” Even my kids will ask after they do something, “Mom, are you putting that up on the blog?” To which I think, “of course honey I am, because if I don’t laugh at this I’m gonna strangle you.”
  13. What Movie/Series/Song would best relates to Shitastrophy:  Well…I have to say all the Chevy Chase Griswold pictures run a close parallel to my life. I also feel like Office Space perfectly captured my Corporate America life too.
  14. So why did I start the blog: If you have followed the blog for a bit you realize I have a bit of bad luck, not like major catastrophe kinda shitty luck, but your run of the mill holy fuck stop shitting on me kinda luck. Roofs have leaked, kids have done all sorts of WTF crap, people have imploded in restrooms, dogs have eaten cabinets and enough tissue boxes to have harvested a small forest, and wheels have fallen off cars when they were being driven. Shit just happens to me. I use to tell my close friends and they would laugh and say I needed to write it down, or start a blog, or something. Whenever we got together they would always ask, “So what happened now because it’s always something.” And you know what – they were right. It always was something and it started to kinda get depressing to always have ridiculous shit happen and no one to share it with because our lives had gotten so busy with kids and marriage. So the blog was born so I could share my shit with them and anyone who enjoyed laughing with and at another person’s misfortune. Hey you could always have it worse – you could be me.
  15. How did I end up where I am: (Physically) Well I live in Michigan because this is where my husband’s job is. I would like to live in the south or Caribbean where it is warm because I hate snow, and cold, and grey skies. (Professionally) See above on why I started the blog, and pretty much it is why I continue to write. I love making people laugh. I love sharing funny stories and making someone nod along and relate, it’s just nice knowing you are not alone. Also, I truly have found writing to be a major stress reliever, and something that makes me very happy. Few things in the world bring such happiness to me as writing. When it no longer makes me smile then maybe it will be time to walk away, but I don’t see that ever happening.
  16. How have I made it so far: I think the support of my family has been huge, my kids being in school all day helps, and really my overall joy in writing have all pushed me to where I am today. I also am a bit of a workaholic and put in a crazy amount of hours a day writing. The more I write the better I feel and the better my work is.
  17. My go to bloggers: I read about 20 blog posts a week. I try to read new people all the time because it’s awesome finding new hysterical people who I click with. That being said if Linda Roy from Elle Roy Was Here posts anything I read it because she’s hysterical and awesome. I also like reading Aussa Loren’s Hacker. Hooker. Ninja. Spy. because she works in the most fucked up place ever and I love a runaway train. I also read Jen Mann from People I Want to Punch in the Throat because well she says it like it is and I love it.
  18. Introvert or Extrovert: This is gonna be a surprise but I am actually a bit of an introvert. I do best in small groups and one on one. When put in situations where I need to meet a lot of people, or be in big crowds, I tend to hang back and watch. That being said I can play the corporate wife like no one’s business, and do enjoy when we go to functions.
  19. What would I tell my teenage self: I would remind her to hold her head high, never cower from adversity, and to always speak her mind. I would also say it’s ok to try new things. That she should be open to new ideas because inspiration and challenges happen everyday, how you handle them are what sets you apart. Oh, and to not drink and drive (that’s a story for another day). I may also remind her that boys come and go but girlfriends are most important and to not ditch your friends for this week’s flavor.
  20. If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life what would it be: Well since I was informed calories still count I guess ice cream or pizza are out. So I guess I would eat cereal. I love cereal like a Dead Head loves patchouli oil – I just can’t get enough of it.
  21. Who taught me my first swear word: My mother. She swears like a proud Jersey girl, mainly it is in the car when driving. I remember being in 4th grade at St. Denis and calling someone an asshole. That was when I first realized that it was a ‘bad’ thing and man did I get in trouble – BTW Thanks Brian Prendergast for tattling on me, that was awesome.
  22. On deserted island what 3 things do I have: Aspirin (you can heal a lot of shit with an aspirin), my pillow – it’s super comfy and keeps my neck from getting all fucked up bc I have two discs sitting on top of each other, and music – I live for music and if I didn’t get to hear my tunes everyday I would lose my mind.
  23. Top Places to go in US (Minus Florida or NYC) – Ok well I think ANY national park is a winner, but I have been to Yosemite and it truly was a life changing place. I would also like to visit the Grand Canyon, Grand Tetons, Zion, and Yellowstone. My favorite place to go with my kids is Sanibel Island in Florida (yes I am saying this but bc it’s not Disney and a non-commercialized island that is amazing). Also I have not been to the Outer Banks but have heard nothing but awesomeness about it. I would also like to go to Alaska and see the glaciers. I have been to Kauai and it was fantastic – Waimea Canyon is the Grand Canyon of the Pacific and worth the trip alone. Pictured Rocks in Northern Michigan was pretty fantastic too. See a theme – outdoors, I like to visit beautiful places that make me realize how small humans are, how awesome the world is, and how little time we have here so we should enjoy as much of it as we can and leave it as we found it – pristine.
  24. Do my kids know about the blog: Yes, they do but they have both been told they are not permitted to read it until they are 18. Also they are not allowed to even say the name of it, I’m a mean mother like that. Hey I still don’t curse in front of my parents and I’m 39!
  25. Do I embellish any of my shit: Sadly I do not, what you read is what actually happened.

Well if you have made it this far thank you! That’s a lot of info about me and I hope you have enjoyed it all.

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Comments

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Comments

  1. Your shit is the shit, my friend!!!

  2. This was some awesome shit to read about you and your shitty blog.

    Wait . . . that doesn’t sound right. 😀

  3. I think you’re fucking blog eats all my comments. Like, all the damn time.

    This was a fun list of shit to read.

  4. I commented yesterday from my phone, but it didn’t post. Federeder….(Fred Flintstone swear…)

    Anyway, here’s what I said: We are simpatico, as I nodded and snorted in agreement throughout this post. For the Office Space reference alone…friends for life. lol “Well Lumberg…” uh…never mind. Thanks for the shout out, my friend! That’s a huge compliment! XO

  5. I think we are twins. Seriously. I’m not sure where I found your blog, but it’s pretty much my life! LOL

    • I’m so sorry to hear you have the perpetual shit storm too – but it does lend to some funny moments 🙂