My Kids Are Slowly ‘Chip’ping Away At My Sanity

If I’m not doing laundry, chauffeuring kids some place, cooking (ok maybe not all the time but they are fed daily), picking up nasty ass socks off the floor (I’m looking at you oldest child), helping with homework (when I can because seriously that ‘New Math’ just confuses the hell out of me), I can […]

How Youth Sports Can Help Stem the Violence In America

As a mother I am saddened by what our country and world is turning into. We spend so much time discussing how we can’t understand the hatred Terrorists have for us, only to have the same hatred for each other. I cannot imagine the depths of fear African American mothers have for their children. I […]

My A**hole Neighbors Strike Again

Some shit in my life I can’t even make up if I tried. The house next door to me has a long running history of assholes living there. There have been three home owners in the last fifteen years and all have had their fair share of dick moves. I think the house is just […]

A Letter to the Political Candidate

Dear Political Candidate, It appears you have invested more in our relationship than I have invested in you, and it needs to stop. I’ve had enough of your ‘needing’ or ‘wanting’ me. Seriously just calm the hell down on all the ‘here’s where we are going’ because I gotta tell you, “WE aren’t going ANYWHERE […]

Why a Mom Can’t Take a Bath

The other night I did something that was so impractical and selfish it was amazing. Something I have only done a handful of times since living in my home the last fourteen years. I’ve always been held back by the ‘after mess’, and let’s not even discuss the awkward dismount. But Friday I was pushed […]

Grocery Store Fail

I’m not gonna lie, the kids finally leaving for school was pretty nice. You know what I did with all that free time? I worked, uninterrupted for hours. It was divine. I started a project and was actually able to devout real time to it! I don’t think I can stress how close I was […]

Sports Bra Failure

Dearest Sports Bra of Mine, Your one job is to keep things in and you do one hell of a job. Nothing is escaping you, and that includes me. You got the market/boob cornered in containment. You sirĀ (yes I am assuming you are a man because no woman would hold on that tight to a […]

Where the FUCK is the Chord?

It is a constant dance in the house of Shit – Riverdance has come to roost in our kitchen and that Mo-Fo needs to go break a leg somewhere else. Daily there is the great migration of chords from our kitchen counter, and I’ve about had it. First the chord moves a room over. I […]

My Kids Are Lazy, Help A Momma Out

My kids are lazy, and yes I know I have a hand in this as well. I’m not in denial, I realize they are lazy because I just don’t force them to do more around the house. The thing is, whenever I see any of their shit left lying around I call them out on […]

The HOA Has Created A Bunch of A-holes

There is a rampant amount of douchery going on in neighborhoods around America and I have had it. When the fuck did it become common to just report people to the ‘Almighty Neighborhood Mafia’ (HOA) without first attempting to converse with the offender, and by offender I mean neighbor. WHY can people not walk across […]