Worst Wedding Proposal EVER

Most women remember the moment their betrothed asked them for their hand in marriage. Normally these are well thought out escapades that involve romantic gestures and some sort of element of surprise. My own proposal involved the hubs stealing me away on a trip to Laguna Beach for a supposed business conference, however there was no […]

Stupid 4th of July Injuries

The United States loves their holidays – and the 4th of July is one of the biggest of them all. The weather is good, the food is overabundant, parades are everywhere, and the alcohol flows like the Colorado River rapids…fast and cool. Stupidity also runs rampant during this annual celebration of the United States independence. […]

Injectables for Ladies Lower Lips

In the quest for youth women love to inject shit into their bodies. Throughout the world there are foreheads refusing to move at a hysterical joke, lips that mimic a fish, boobs that could suffocate a person, asses that can have a quarter bounced off of and not from exercise but from collagen. Fat is sucked […]

Crazy Sex Injuries

Some people have a very adventurous sex life, and as a result sometimes things happen that leave the common man wondering how in the world did you ever think that was a good idea. I mean most people have had some hot and heavy moments in their lives but have you ever looked at your […]

A Shitastrophy of Epic Proportions

It was our son’s 7th birthday and after a special morning event we treated him to breakfast. The restaurant was packed. We placed our order with our waitress and I excused myself to the restroom. That was when the most horrific, horrible, grotesque thing ever happened. I was in the very tiny bathroom stall doing […]

She Used WHAT in her Vagina?

Most people who have followed my blog for sometime know I am no prude. I have gotten on stage in front of thousands of people and tried to blow up a condom when I was in Cancun on Spring Break (I lost, those fuckers are hard to keep in your mouth!). I wrote a piece about The Best Vibrator on […]

Parents, Curses, and Vaginas

My parents are embarrassed I curse. According to my mom cursing is only for behind closed doors or when she’s driving. I try to respect them and know well enough to never drop a F-bomb when I am in their presence. My dad dislikes even ‘crude’ words (‘pissed’ will quickly get you a look and a […]

Wait, Vaginal Dryness Is In?

  Recently it was reported women in certain areas of Africa and Indonesia are taking one for the team and ‘drying out’ their vaginas in the name of satisfying their male partners. Yup, you read that right. They are doing the exact opposite of what most women in the world are doing. Apparently vaginal dryness […]

Sex Toys for Dogs, WTF?

Pets are a wonderful addition to any home. Our home has two Bernese Mountain Dogs that we love dearly. They provide non-stop shredding, pooping, panting, slobbering, farting and more. The kids love them with all their heart, The Hubs puts up with them, and I am smitten. The biggest problem with our massive 100 lb. […]

WTF is a Merkin?

There is a new word in my lexicon and it is merkin, AKA the pubic wig. How did I not know about this? Sure I have heard of ‘gherkin the merkin’ but I was under the impression merkin meant a male anatomical member and gherkin was another way to reference jerkin. Apparently I was wrong. I am […]